In the officein a fiestawith your friends… a nadie and amarga fall well y be socially successful. In fact, we actively seek it. This natural attitude of the human being aroused the interest of a group of experts from Harvard Business School and they set out to analyze what makes us like other people better. The study analyzed the behavior of the participants in the labor sphere and discovered something surprising: that people don’t ask enough questions. “Ask questions -they explain- helps us to improve our emotional intelligence which, in turn, makes us better interrogators, thus entering a vicious circle that benefits us”. Apparently, we are forgetting or simply unaware of the immense power to ask questions. We tend to commit two mistakes:
- To think that we have to talk about ourselves to like them. It is the attitude of egocentric who seek to impress their interlocutor with their ideas and experiences. The other did not interested enough so he doesn’t usually ask her questions, and if he does, he doesn’t pay a lot of attention to the answers.
- To think that we have to ask interesting questions to like them. It is the attitude of insecure who are afraid of asking the wrong question and, therefore, we prefer not to ask, it won’t be…
Technique to ask without overwhelming
In both cases, the result is that we ask few questions. Harvard experts also explain that asking questions is an art and do it with equilibrium is also important. The technique implies the following:
- start with questions simple, easy to answer. In a second phase we can ask more things deep.
- use the correct tone. People are more communicative when you ask questions in a light-hearted way, without rigidity.
- Pay attention to the conversation dynamics, that is, see if your interlocutor willingly accepts being asked. If not, adapt with empathy. A conversation is a flexible tug of war that requires time.
- Enjoy the conversation. Receive what you are given and share what you want. enjoy the gift of meet other people and to share your story.
2 Reasons Why We Should Ask Others More Questions
We talk to you about the two fundamental keys to use this language tool – the questions- so healthy and beneficial.
Enjoy the conversation. Receive what you are given and share what you want.
- Make others feel that you care. In a normal conversation, being interested in the other makes him feel special. When we only talk about ourselves without paying attention to what the other person tells us, we are saying: “what you tell me doesn’t interest me, you don’t interest me”. You can impress him, interest him, but like him? is the empathyopening ourselves to others, what we truly value in our relations. The human being is a social being who has to create links with their peers. “In the biology of the human being there is an innate predisposition to kindnessan impulse to take care of others, hence, when we see a person who acts kindly, a series of very powerful chemical reactions are triggered in us that improve the stress level, activate the production of endorphins, reduce inflammation, etc. . The gentleness is a chemical bomb for our body“, Explain Daniel Lumerawriter and founder of the International Kindness Movement.
- Make yourself feel that you care. How is that possible? The key is to lose the fear of asking the right question and, as a consequence, lose the fear of not liking. As the psychologist explains Ana Belén Medialdea in The 4 seasons of self-esteem“avoid risking fear of rejection and anticipating the catastrophes that can happen to us with others is a factor that feeds the avoidance and passivity that lead us to do everything possible to not be rejected by otherssomething that confirms our fear.” And he adds: “If you dared not to like it… what do you think would happen? If you dared not to like and you give permission to others to think of you what they want, you would remove the chains that hold you back, that restrict you and make you be someone you are not “. And he adds