“I don’t care about your why, but mine.”
Those are not your words, but the words of the one you want to invite to dinner. Actually, it’s not even his words. If they were, it would be good for you, because it would give you very valuable information: the information that the one who is interested in that dinner is you, not him. It wasn’t his words, but his thoughts. But since people don’t find it pleasant to share thoughts that displease the listener, they are usually kept quiet. This implies that you have to be the one to guess and anticipate them.
And how can I know when they will emerge?
You do not need it. I will do that work for you. The answer is: “Always.”
You will have them as long as your dinner invitation focuses on why dinner is so important…
… for you! (Instead of for him).
These are the phrases that almost all of us have made the mistake of using at some point or another:
• I am very excited [yo] with being able to meet with you because I know that your knowledge would be very useful for the project [mío] what [yo] I am developing.
• [Yo] I would be so grateful if you could help me [tú a mí]since you are just the person who [yo] I seek.
• It is very important to me [o sea, yo] dating a guy like you you would help me a lot [a mí].
• If we meet, it will be great, since I am sure that you will be able to solve me [a mí] my problem [más de lo mismo].
This Step invites you to replace those with these others:
• If you help me, I will benefit from it, but I give you three reasons why you will also benefit and a lot: [incluirlos].
• I read your article in yesterday’s newspaper and wanted to congratulate you. I was very shocked by two sentences that he said [detallar]. Despite the fact that writing to you caused me a certain amount of respect, I have had the courage to do so because I believe that you [motivo de peso + respeto]…
• I have seen that they are looking to grow in this area [porque he hecho los deberes] and i think i can help you. You could also help us, so I consider it in our common interest to have a conversation.
• I have two things for you: something I would like to ask of you and something I would like to offer you.
• I admire you for many reasons [elaborar] and I value your opinion. I would be very happy if you would allow me to do something for you as a token of appreciation. [Ya una vez allí, mucho más tarde, hablaremos de qué gano yo y de lo que yo necesito.]
The second set of sentences is not a guarantee of success, but the first ones are a guarantee of failure.
In many cases, if it’s a relatively important or inaccessible person, in order to carry on the above conversations you will need to first get their attention. To do this, keep these two keys in mind:
Of the two keys, the most important is the second. To do this, simply do the same thing that large corporations do to capture the attention of new clients: have a commercial claim. They do it with a phrase that either defines the company or defines the product. You must be able to explain, either what you do, or why someone unattainable for you should listen to you. Each one with a single sentence, concise, striking and captivating.
Most people won’t tell you, “You haven’t given me my why.” What he will tell you is: “this week is bad for me. And the next one… too».