More space, less queues, less jelly beans … This will be the “new normal” of going to the movies

Thursday,
30
April
2020

02:04

A man walks in front of closed cinemas in Seville.
GOGO LOBATO

Calling normality new discredits both the adjective and the noun. It is not so much oxmoron as nonsense. But there is no other way to get used to it. Until Hitchcock didn’t roll Psychosis, the hours in the cinemas were rather flexible. After the 1960 movie, no one dared be late anymore. You run the risk of missing the murder of the protagonist in the first act. Well, everything indicates that until the coronavirus pandemic does not end, we will have to memorize some other contradiction. The new normality forces.

When and how do I buy the ticket?

At home by going online or at the box office with a card and if possible without a PIN. That is to say, contactless. The key is not to touch.

Can I buy popcorn and soda?

If you still haven’t gotten rid of the bad habit of chewing while watching a movie, you can continue to martyr your neighbor. But be careful, you can only eat food (or whatever) served by someone. Goodbye therefore to the self-services of jelly beans how happy they make gum eaters. In my usual cinema they are called gominolos.

Where and with whom do I sit?

At the moment, the cinemas will continue without solving sentimental problems. The couple must be brought from home and the possibility of flirting with him / her next door is drastically reduced. The allocation of inputs will take care of leaving the proper distance. It is not specified whether one, two or three seats. What is not in doubt is that you see the cinema in a very comfortable and comprehensive way. The capacity will never exceed a third of the total and strict control will be followed. And yes, each sheep with its partner.

And what happens to the tails?

Otherwise, will we live in the cinemas the same queues that we suffer in supermarkets? The answer is no. Since the viewer arrives at the box office until he leaves the cinema, the rooms will take care that the distances are scrupulously respected. That means that there will be indicators on the ground signaling the two meters of rigor and, more importantly, the passes will be spaced to avoid crowds. Alfons Mas, from the Boliche cinemas in Barcelona, ​​even talks about enabling differentiated inputs and outputs: He will have to operate the rear outputs, he says. And one more, for the very fetishists: there will never be a physical cut of tickets. That is, the collections earn a lot.

And what about hygiene and urinals?

Basically nothing happens. The Federation of Cinemas of Spain (FECE) undertakes to provide hydroalcoholic gel at various points in the facilities and requests that they be used. Of course, no cinema will be opened that does not have the corresponding screen at the box office. There are few, but some remain. And urinals will cease to be a gathering place after the screening (Yes, some of them like to talk as they relieve themselves). They, too, undergo a control of incontinents and in those cases where it is necessary to close one so that the distance is much greater than the usual splash. We refer, of course, to men and their leaks. And with that said, the experience of going to the movies seems to improve with the new normal. Too bad it’s not profitable.

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