The Junge Union halves the draft horse Söder

Wif he only looks to see whether a traffic light can really show red, yellow and green at the same time, it is easy to miss something even more unbelievable. This happened a few days ago in Deggendorf, Lower Bavaria. After that, the rest of the republic would have had to stand still for at least a moment: The youth of the CSU struck their national assembly, Markus Söder.

Yes you’ve read correctly. It was erased from a decision that should have said that it was now time to “form a powerful, fresh team behind our strong workhorse Markus Söder”. The Junge Union deleted not only Markus and Söder from the application text, but also the strong draft horse. And not with a meager approval of 30 plus x percent, as it was granted to the CSU in the most recent federal election, but with a whopping three-quarters majority (in numbers: 75 percent).

Unimaginable under the ox step

Yes, have the young CSUers gone crazy? Such an aversion to vigorous draft animals would not have existed under the Ochsensepp! The man they called horse is clearly the best stallion in the stable. What do you mean, his “one-man-show” has to stop? In the CDU they would be happy if they had a solo entertainer. The problem with the stepsister party is that there are too many of them in their ranks. At least in highlands like Scotland and Bavaria, however, the old Highlander rule is still adhered to: there can only be one.

What JU allow can only be called out. These brats saw Söder’s chair as dirty as he did when he saw Seehofer’s armchair. No wonder that the pulled-off draft horse is now sulking, shy and bucking: Söder does not go to Münster for the Germany Day of the Young Unionists. Would be even nicer. Ingrateful gang! Where would the CDU and CSU have ended up if Söder had not supported Laschet in the election campaign with all his heart, not with all his might and without any resentment! Exactly: back in government. And in fact, the Union can no longer be expected to do this now that it has been known how things are really going with them.

At the moment, only those who resign receive thanks and respect in the CDU. Laschet can be happy if, in the course of delaschetization of the party, he is not also asked to hand over the miner’s badge with which he had bewitched the thousand and one delegates at the party congress. Actually, they should now follow the example of the board of directors and resign as a whole after their catastrophic preliminary decision. And then of course all the solid posts that these delegates had chosen. How good that the CDU will have the say in the future!

The real Chancellor Kurz is sure to come back

For the time being, the Union parties can only watch with envy how their cousin in Austria, the Kurz party (formerly ÖVP), is dealing with their crisis. Crisis? What crisis? Kurz did not really resign, he specifically only stepped aside, into parliament. The only real Chancellor will surely come back when the last SMS is finally deleted. Until then, his fellow party member Schallenberg will do Medvedev for him. Laschet could have looked for such a loyal soul in the CDU for a long time.

But how are things going now with Söder and the young people in the Union, on whom all hopes are directed? Söder himself was chairman of the JU in Bavaria long enough to know that as such you always have a traditional stiletto in your lederhosen, with which you can relieve lame horses if the agony gets too great.

Kuban was probably thinking of himself

Söder can no longer safely rely on Tilman “die Rampensau” Kuban, the chairman of the non-Bavarian JU. Even when Kuban enthusiastically demanded that Germany also need a short, he probably no longer thought of Söder, but rather of himself.

Franz Josef Strauss, whose grandson Söder would like to be if he had to experience all of this, would probably say: Sic transit gloria Bavariae.

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