The surprising truth about introverts and orders that stay at home

Susan Cain, author of the New York Times bestselling book The Secret Strength of Introverts, says that the command to stay at home during the coronavirus pandemic isn't that easy for introverts.
coronavirus pandemic aren’t necessarily easier for introverts. (Credit: Handout photo)” data-reactid=”29″>

Susan Cain, author of the New York Times bestselling book The Secret Strength of Introverts, says that the command to stay at home during the coronavirus pandemic isn’t that easy for introverts. (Photo credit: handout photo)

There have been a number of memes and articles celebrating the fact that introverts thrive in a time of coronavirus quarantine. Some call it the “spring for extroverts”. It turns out that this is not entirely true.

<p class = "canvas-atom canvas-text Mb (1.0em) Mb (0) – sm Mt (0.8em) – sm" type = "text" content = "" While it is certainly true that … it It's easier for introverts to stay at home than for extroverts … every guy has a sweet spot with very different stimulations, ”says Susan Cain, author of the New York Times bestselling book The secret strength of introverts. “From this point of view, introverts will of course feel a little more comfortable with it than extroverts. Still, it’s not really as clear as all of that. “” Data-reactid = “34”> “It is certainly true that … it is easier for introverts to stay at home than for extroverts … each different type has a sweet spot with a completely different stimulation”, says Susan Cain, author of the New York Times bestselling book The secret strength of introverts. “From this point of view, introverts will of course feel a little more comfortable with it than extroverts. But that’s not really as clear as all of that. “

One reason for this: Cain says that since neither of us has the choice to stay at home, our attitude to stay at home changes, which is a big deal for introverts. “We all have different routines that we like to do, and some of these routines take place outside the home,” she explains.

Cain, a self-described introvert, describes her own struggle with the orders to stay at home. “I used to write in cafes and I love that. And it’s a daily pleasure for me to do that, ”she says. “I love the experience of being what I call” alone together “. That means being in a situation where you can feel the energy of other people around you, but also have the freedom in your own mind to go. ”

Katie Schmidt Murray, a freelance photographer and graphic designer in Silver Spring, Maryland and a self-described introvert, has the opposite problem. She has been working from home for 14 years and enjoyed having the days to herself while her children and husband were at school and working. But since Maryland closed schools and non-essential businesses, everything has changed – for the worse.

“It’s exhausting. I sit in my car for a while in the evening when I just need rest,” she says. After a full day of work and help for the children in school, she says that her husband doesn’t understand why they don’t talk wants when the children go to bed. “My 9-year-old is extrovert and at least a good part of the reason why I am so physically exhausted,” says Schmidt Murray. “She wants to cuddle as much as possible or be with me, and I’m just finished. If I could be home alone, I would be fine. “

“Being stuck in a house with your kids and your partner can be overwhelming for an introvert,” says psychotherapist Perri Shaw Borish, who specializes in treating anxiety and depression. “You need personal space. So if you feel like he’s under attack, it’ll feel really exhausting.”

According to Borish, it is crucial right now that introverts honor what they feel and do what is necessary to allow themselves space in this stressful time.

“It is super important for introverts because otherwise there will be more fear, more tiredness, more fatigue, more depression,” she says.

Darren Mart, a software developer from Maple Valley, Washington, and also a self-described introvert, says that on-the-spot placement didn’t affect his daily routine, but did affect his feelings.

“Introverts tend to live in their heads, which can be a double-edged sword,” he says. “The good thing is that I never get bored and like to focus on projects. The bad thing is that I’m more concerned with the COVID-19 tragedy, which takes place and sometimes feels overwhelmed and helpless.”

“Under normal circumstances, an introvert can be a cause for concern, and under the circumstances in which we all live, there can be additional concerns for an introvert,” says Dr. Boris. “The way you can calm yourself down is to have time for yourself – to withdraw into yourself. And that’s really hard if you can’t leave the house and can’t have time for yourself. “

Dr. Boris suggests various coping mechanisms that introverts can use to keep calm and keep going, including plenty of sleep and planning the day in periods that include short breaks to recharge. “If you’re introverted, you only have to focus on one task at a time,” she says.

And while memes call introverts the ones best equipped to deal with accommodation at home, many introverts say they just don’t resonate with them.

“Although I’m not offended by them, I disagree with the feeling,” says Mart. “There is a common misconception that introverts are misanthropes when the main distinction between” introverted “and” extroverted “simply boils down to how our energy levels are affected by social interaction. Personally, I like meeting and learning about people, and it hurts to know that hundreds of thousands are facing unimaginable suffering and death. “

Cain says she suspects that those who really enjoy staying at home are the people who were overwhelmed in their lives before the pandemic hit the United States. And she says it has nothing to do with being introverted.

“What if you look at your social life as a kind of spectrum where there is social overload at one end of the spectrum … [and the] The other end of the spectrum is loneliness. And then the middle of the spectrum is the sweet spot where you get the right kind of social stimulation for you and the right amount of it, ”says Cain.

“Before the quarantine, some people were in social overload … and for these people, the quarantine can be a kind of relief. And then some people were lonely and this quarantine would be really difficult for them. “

Cain says that when people hear the word introverted, it is assumed that the person is a hermit or doesn’t like social interaction. But this is wrong.

“What I always say are introverts, many of them who really crave social interaction, just like extroverts do. But they like to socialize differently and in different amounts, so they often prefer a personal glass of wine with a friend rather than going to a big party. “

Video conferencing technologies like Zoom, used for work meetings and now for happy hour and birthday parties, offer introverts another layer of navigation.

“There is talk of these big zoom cocktail parties and the like,” says Cain. “And I have the same aversion to this as to a real cocktail party,” she says.

Dr. Borish says introverts need to prioritize what feels right in these circumstances.

“If you’re introverted, you have to do what is important to you. You don’t have to worry about getting in touch with everyone at Zoom.” It’s more about quality than quantity, ”she says.

And she says managers should consider the introverts in their teams as more meetings are organized through video conferencing.

“If a large part of your workforce or the people you work with are introverted, it is probably better to get employee feedback individually and electronically. People can see each other’s ideas and everyone can have the opportunity to contribute rather than in a crowd on a virtual platform. “

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