The coronavirus, a love killer? Not necessarily. While the love life of many has been on hold for almost a year, others have still managed to meet someone. But between two confinements, a curfew and the bars and cinemas closed, how did these new couples experience their beginning of relationship, deprived of certain “rituals”? The first restaurant, the first evening with each other’s friends, the first weekend …
In return, we discuss – a lot – and we get to know each other better before seeing each other. Of the 300 or so testimonies collected by The world, it appears that the majority of couples have found themselves on dating apps. “Would we have spent so much time chatting under normal circumstances?” Certainly not “, sums up Camille, an inhabitant of Val-d’Oise. Moreover, the exchanges are perceived as being “More true”, “Deeper”. Sofiane, a 32-year-old Parisian, details:
“We sent each other a billion messages during the first lockdown. Quite quickly, we broached serious subjects: our desire to move to the countryside, our family relationships, etc. Suddenly, when we could see each other, we escaped the phase “We have a drink, but we are both embarrassed”, which is a kind of obligatory passage that is a little overdone and codified. “
During the first dates, there is “A very strong social injunction to highlight its qualities, even if it means overplaying a character, and above all not showing its flaws and its vulnerability”, estimates Florence Escaravage, founder of Love Intelligence (an agency specializing in love coaching) and co-author of the book Romantic relationships for dummies (First, 2010). According to her, the complicated health context has pushed people “To seek more the meaning of the meeting, to engage more intimately and to create a strong and authentic emotional connection, which is the key to the beginning of a serious relationship”.
“For once, I had the opportunity to really get to know the person before going any further”, confirms Alexis, who lives in Lyon. Like him, many have the feeling of having – somewhat in spite of themselves – taken the time to build “Solid foundations” and a couple « fort », with “Real common interests” or “Similar life choices”.
In times of Covid-19, we are logically less distracted by external solicitations (friends or other new meetings). This bubble effect means that we are more focused on the emerging relationship, or even that we give a chance to a person that we would perhaps have rejected in normal times. “In the beginning, they were supposed to be simple parentheses in our lives as divorced quads. It was the deal between her and me ”, says René. Then the confinement began, and their “Overnight meeting” have become impossible. They then began to write to each other more regularly. “After a month, we would fall asleep on video. Without confinement, that would not have happened “, assures René.
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