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Control began with the name of a friend

by James Carter Senior News Editor

Urgent: Emotional Control in Teen Friendships Soars – Australia Sees Alarming Trend

Sydney, Australia – A concerning new trend is emerging among Australian teenagers: a significant increase in emotionally controlling behavior within friendships. Kids Helpline, a leading youth counseling service, is reporting a surge in cases, raising alarms about a form of abuse previously associated primarily with adult relationships. This is breaking news that demands attention, and archyde.com is bringing you the latest.

What is Coercive Control? Beyond Bullying and Stalking

Often described as ‘strong-arm control,’ ‘coercive control,’ or ‘emotional domination,’ the phenomenon goes far beyond typical teenage drama. It’s a pattern of behavior designed to strip away a person’s independence, often through subtle but persistent manipulation and psychological pressure. While the term originated in the context of domestic violence – where it’s increasingly recognized as a crime in countries like the UK and is being considered for legal definition in Australia – its presence in adolescent friendships is a startling development. It’s not about physical harm, but about eroding a person’s sense of self and agency.

From Domestic Violence to the Schoolyard: A Worrying Shift

Traditionally, coercive control refers to a dynamic of power and control within intimate partner relationships. It involves isolating someone from their support network, monitoring their movements, dictating their choices, and creating an environment of fear and intimidation. The fact that these tactics are now being observed between friends is deeply troubling. Kids Helpline reports receiving over 1,000 counseling requests related to coercive control in friendships between January 2024 and July 2025, with over 75% of those seeking help identifying as young women.

Digital Surveillance and the New Face of Control

The digital age has added a new layer to this issue. Features like Snap Map, which allows users to share their location, are being exploited to monitor friends’ whereabouts. Repeatedly questioning a friend’s location or who they’re with, initially disguised as concern, can quickly escalate into a form of surveillance that creates a suffocating atmosphere. This isn’t simply being a caring friend; it’s an attempt to control and dominate. Other behaviors include constant texting, demanding immediate responses, and attempts to isolate a friend from other relationships.

Recognizing the Signs: Gaslighting, Toxic Relationships, and Emotional Abuse

The language used by young people themselves reveals the depth of the problem. Counselors at Kids Helpline are increasingly hearing terms like “coercive control,” “toxic relationship,” and “gaslighting” – a form of manipulation where someone is made to question their own reality – during consultations. Signs of coercive control in a friendship can include:

  • Constant criticism and put-downs
  • Attempts to isolate you from other friends and family
  • Controlling your social media activity
  • Monitoring your location without your consent
  • Making you feel guilty or responsible for their feelings
  • Threats or intimidation
  • Undermining your self-confidence

Why This Matters: The Long-Term Impact of Emotional Abuse

The consequences of experiencing coercive control can be devastating, leading to anxiety, depression, low self-esteem, and difficulty forming healthy relationships in the future. It’s crucial to remember that this isn’t something to “just get over.” It’s a form of emotional abuse that can have lasting psychological effects. The fact that more young people are reaching out for help is a positive sign, indicating a growing awareness and willingness to address these issues. It suggests a shift in societal norms, where emotional abuse is no longer being dismissed or minimized.

Kids Helpline’s work underscores the importance of open communication, healthy boundaries, and recognizing the subtle signs of manipulation. If you or someone you know is experiencing coercive control, remember you are not alone, and help is available. For immediate support, reach out to Kids Helpline at 1800 55 1800 or visit their website for online chat and email counseling options. Understanding these dynamics is the first step towards fostering healthier, more respectful relationships for all.

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