Five golden rules to take care of our relationships – Health and Well-being

When something is taken care of, when small details are maintained and one is captivated day by day, our relationships are better, more enriching and deeper. Undoubtedly, with our care we prevent something from breaking easily and we prevent scars and wounds from being the queens of our relationships.

There are people who come into our lives to give us light, but we will only keep them if our interactions help us tie ourselves up, to sustain that bond in a noble, sincere and strong way.

We easily forget that to keep the flame of friendship, love and any other relationship alive, we must emphasize some basic principles in our actions.

It is important that we reflect on this because the following golden rules go beyond the relational customs that guide our day to day and our being. Let’s see some more about these five principles…

1. The tongue has no bones, but it is strong enough to break a heart.

Words are not carried away by any wind. These nest in the heart and are capable of building or destroying, calming or boosting, helping to grow or diminish. Bad words, bad manners or unwise opinions can break a heart in a catastrophic way.

The way we communicate with others says a lot about the respect we profess for them, we cannot believe that everything has a place in dialogues because there is trust. It is essential, therefore, to take care of the forms and content of what we express.

When we have to communicate something negative we must do it in a delicate way and that means from affection, from concern or discomfort. The best way to do it is by alluding to the behaviors and avoiding labeling the person for a wrong done.

Our words must pass the three filters of Socrates: that of truth, that of utility and that of goodness. If something isn’t true, isn’t useful, and doesn’t do the person we tell it to, we better avoid making that comment.

2. There are two unbearable things: lies and falsehood

The truth hurts once, but the lie hurts always. There is nothing that breaks a relationship as much as lies and falsehood. Both things are capable of destroying everything in their path, devastating the most populated forests and bringing down the tallest towers.

The lie makes us question a thousand truths, making us question even the most frank experiences lived. There are many kinds of lies, of course, but a healthy relationship cannot be built on them.

Let’s remember that trust is a luxury item that is not given to just anyone, and that is when a feeling as important as trust breaks, something within us dies.

3. The longest distance between two people is a misunderstanding

The phrase that best illustrates this reflection is the following: “Between what we think, what we want to say, what we think we are saying, what we say, what we want to hear, what we hear, what we think we understand, and what we understand, there are nine possibilities of not understanding each other”.

Wanting or not wanting to understand each other is not the question, the question is knowing how to find each other despite the emotional state of each one, despite the priorities and despite the fact that on many occasions it is difficult to find a point in common.

The difference is that we listen to understand and not to answer, that we talk about the inconvenience that attitudes or words cause us, that we communicate without words, that we do to understand. This should be maintained not only in the moments when we are having a conversation, but also later, when we are alone reflecting.

It is important that we also do it after the fact, because often the heat of the moment does not allow us to reflect properly, thus encouraging harmful and proud behavior. Making mistakes is common and human, but we also have to know how to issue sincere forgiveness.

4. With sad eyes you have to ask fewer questions and give them more hugs

Validating the emotions of others is essential to base a relationship on acceptance. Understanding emotions and conveying that understanding makes all the difference. With this maxim we intend to assert the importance of not judging and not falling into the “I warned you” or “you have no reason to regret everything”.

Each person is waging their own war and, although total cognitive and emotional empathy is somewhat a utopia, we cannot stop trying to make the best possible emotional reading of the other.

Supporting in bad times in the right way is a solid foundation for a relationship, so it is especially important to pay attention to how we manage the negative emotions of others.

5. Spend time, the most beautiful gift

It is just as important to be by the side of the people we love in bad times as it is to be in good times. Accompaniment provides psychological oxygen and sharing means living. Surrounding ourselves with people we love and who love us, living with them in good times and having smiles to remember is what makes the difference.

On the other hand, it must be clear to us that begging for time is not an option. Neither for us nor for others. No matter how busy we are, we can always dedicate a short call or message to that person to tell him without words that he is in our thoughts. Not doing so contributes to generating a distance that over time becomes very difficult to bridge.

It is important that we build styles of communication and behavior in our relationships that add up and do not subtract. Let’s not lose, then, the opportunity to improve as a couple, friends, children, parents, brothers, colleagues, etc. Making an effort to handle these five golden rules properly will undoubtedly make the world more noble, sincere, and constructive.

Source: The Mind is Beautiful – Main illustration by Anne Soline

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