Lena Dunham: Rom-Com Evolution, Not Revolution

Beyond Rom-Coms: The Unexpected Rise of Baggage-Positive Storytelling

Forget flawless meet-cutes and manufactured drama – a new wave of romantic comedies is ditching the fairy tale and embracing the beautiful mess of real life. But what does this shift toward “baggage-positive” storytelling mean for how we view relationships, mental health, and even personal growth?

The “Too Much” Effect: Normalizing Imperfection

Netflix’s “Too Much,” starring Megan Stalter and Will Sharpe, exemplifies this trend. It’s not about two perfect people finding each other; it’s about two imperfect people, each carrying their own significant emotional baggage, navigating a relationship. The show dares to ask: what happens when the obstacles to love aren’t external, but deeply internal?

            Megan Stalter plays 30-something Jessica on Too MuchNetflix's new rom-com created by Lena Dunham and her husband Luis Felber.


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The End of “Elevated” Rom-Coms?

The review of “Too Much” notes that it’s not an “elevated” rom-com. What does this even mean anymore? Has the genre been so burdened by the need to be “more” that it’s forgotten how to simply be relatable? Perhaps this signals a return to authenticity, where messy characters and their equally messy lives are not a problem to be solved, but a reality to be explored.

Internal Obstacles, Real Relationships: The New Rom-Com Formula

Gone are the days of contrived conflicts and easily resolvable misunderstandings. The new rom-com focuses on internal obstacles, like past traumas, anxieties, and self-sabotaging behaviors. These are the real roadblocks to lasting relationships.

• Vulnerability as a Virtue: Characters are rewarded for their willingness to be vulnerable, not punished for their imperfections.
• Therapy-Adjacent Storytelling: While characters may not explicitly attend therapy, the narratives often mirror therapeutic processes, exploring self-awareness and emotional regulation.
• Complex Character Development: Focusing on both leads’ individual struggles rather than solely the female protagonist is paramount.

Beyond the Screen: Applying “Baggage-Positive” Principles to Real Life

This shift in storytelling has implications beyond entertainment. It encourages us to:

1. Embrace Our Own Baggage: Acknowledge that everyone has a past and that those experiences shape who they are. See our guide on Overcoming Past Trauma.
2. Practice Empathy: Understand that others may be struggling with internal obstacles that are not immediately apparent.
3. Challenge Societal Expectations: Question the unrealistic portrayals of relationships and happiness often presented in media.

The Future of Romance: Authenticity Over Aspiration

The “baggage-positive” trend suggests a future where romance is less about finding the “perfect” partner and more about accepting and supporting each other through the imperfections. It signals a move towards more honest and relatable storytelling, and that’s something to celebrate. According to a recent study by the Institute for Relationship Studies, couples who openly discuss their past traumas report higher levels of relationship satisfaction.

            Will Sharpe as Felix and Megan Stalter as Jessica in Too Much.  




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Will we see more shows following this trend? Absolutely. The appetite for authentic stories is growing, and audiences are hungry for characters who reflect their own experiences – flaws and all. The key lies in finding the humor and heart within the mess, and creating stories that are both entertaining and emotionally resonant.

What are your predictions for the future of on-screen relationships? Share your thoughts in the comments below!