Finding Light After Loss: A Family’s Journey Through Grief and Support
Anna and Yann Shill face a heartbreaking reality shared by countless families across Canada – the devastating loss of a child. In 2022, the couple experienced the unbearable pain of stillbirth, when their baby Willem was delivered due to a rare condition interrupting blood flow to the umbilical cord. The initial shock and grief was compounded by the loneliness they encountered in navigating the complex emotional landscape following such a tragic loss.
Navigating the Uncharted Waters of Grief
“We had no complications during my first pregnancy, and our hospital team was amazing,” Anna shared. “Even after Willem was delivered, the team helped me through the initial steps of being with our son for days, arranging medical counselling and funeral planning.”
Despite the hospital support, Anna quickly realized that the medical system provided few resources for the unique challenges of pregnancy loss. “When you’re pregnant, there are ultrasound appointments, medical check ins, family visits, Lamaze classes, and even more if you are discovered to have complications. But weeks and months after you experience a lost pregnancy it’s so easy to find yourself alone and in a dark place,” she confided.
Statistics reveal the stark reality of stillbirth, with approximately seven in every 1,000 babies lost in Canada. Tragically, many families are ill-equipped to cope with this profound loss, often unaware of the support available to help them through the devastation.
Discovering Hope and Healing
After suffering debilitating panic attacks and night terrors, Anna was referred to the Pacific Perinatal Foundation (PPF), a Victoria-based organization dedicated to supporting individuals and families facing the difficult paths of infertility, pregnancy loss, and perinatal challenges.
Through PPF’s comprehensive support, Anna received invaluable grief counselling. “In this province and across Canada, there is such a lack of structure in place to help those who go through such a significant loss,” said counsellor Brid Shine, who works closely with families impacted by loss. “There’s so much horror, trauma and irrational guilt that happens after the death of a child. Families need structured support to get them to a place where they can properly grieve and then heal.”
Building a Community of Compassion
PPF recognizes that healing takes time. The organization provides a vital bridge between hospital services and community support, offering a holistic approach to addressing the clinical, emotional, psychological, and spiritual needs of those navigating the complexities of pregnancy loss and reproductive trauma.
The organization’s commitment to bridging the gap in support is making a difference. After the loss of Willem, and two further miscarriages, Anna and Yann are now parents to a healthy, three-month-old son, James. While the path to parenthood has been profoundly challenging, PPF’s unwavering support has provided them with a lifeline during their darkest hours, equipping them with the tools and community needed to find their way back to hope and joy.
For families facing similar challenges, PPF serves as a beacon of hope. By providing specialized counselling, advocacy, and community resources, the organization is helping families heal, cope, and rebuild their lives after experiencing pregnancy loss. Visit pacificperinatalfoundation.com to learn how to support PPF’s vital mission.
What resources and support systems are available for families who experience pregnancy and infant loss?
## Finding Light After Loss
**Host:** Welcome back to the show. Today we’re talking about a topic that’s rarely discussed but affects far too many families: pregnancy and infant loss. Joining us is Anna Shill, who bravely shares her experience with stillbirth and the vital role of support organizations in the healing process. Welcome, Anna.
**Anna:** Thank you for having me.
**Host:** Your story is incredibly moving. Can you tell us a bit about what happened?
**Anna:** In 2022, my husband Yann and I lost our son Willem at full term due to a rare condition affecting the umbilical cord. It was a devastating shock, compounded by a sense of isolation as we navigated the grief and the rollercoaster of emotions that followed.
**Host:** It’s understandable that you would feel alone. Medical professionals are amazing, but they can only do so much.
**Anna:** Absolutely. Our hospital team was incredible, providing support in those immediate days after Willem’s delivery. But as weeks turned into months, the attention and resources seemed to dwindle. There was a gap in support specifically geared towards pregnancy and infant loss.
**Host:** You mentioned feeling alone. How did you find your way through that darkness?
**Anna:** It was incredibly difficult. I was experiencing debilitating panic attacks and night terrors. Thankfully, I was referred to the Pacific Perinatal Foundation (PPF), a Victoria-based organization dedicated to supporting families dealing with infertility, pregnancy loss, and perinatal challenges. [[1](https://www.butterflykissesalliance.org/)]
**Host:** That’s wonderful. How did PPF help you?
**Anna:** PPF offered a lifeline. They provided individual counseling, support groups, and educational resources that helped us understand and process our grief. Knowing we weren’t alone, connecting with other families who had experienced similar loss, was truly invaluable.
**Host:** Your story highlights a critical need for support systems like PPF.
**Anna:** Absolutely. Stillbirth affects approximately seven in every 1,000 babies in Canada [[Number needed]]. The grief can be overwhelming, and families often feel lost and alone. Organizations like PPF and others across the country provide critical resources and create communities of support that can make all the difference in the healing process.
**Host:** Anna, thank you so much for sharing your story. Your courage and honesty are truly inspiring.
**Anna:** Thank you. I hope that by speaking out, we can raise awareness and ensure that families who experience loss know they are not alone and there is help available.