Heartbreak Before the Holidays: When Love Turns Toxic
Table of Contents
Table of Contents
The festive season is upon us, but for one woman, the twinkling lights and joyous decorations only bring back painful memories. A year ago, just days before Christmas, her world was shattered when her husband unexpectedly announced he was leaving.
He left her to face the holidays alone, juggling the emotional fallout while explaining his departure to their family. The situation was confusing and painful, with him waffling between wanting to come home and retreating to his mother’s house.
This year, the wounds are still raw, and the woman is grappling with the devastating truth: her husband has been unfaithful with his married coworker.The betrayal stings even more deeply, revealing a pattern of deceit that explains his erratic behavior leading up to their separation.
The woman, 52, had been with her husband, 57, for 26 years, and they share two grown daughters. While their marriage had it’s share of challenges in the months leading up to his departure, she never anticipated the depth of his betrayal.
“You know your husband has been lying to you,” says relationship counselor Deidre. “Yet, you’re still clinging to the hope that he’ll come crawling back, begging forgiveness.”
deidre urges her to recognise the manipulative nature of the situation: “you still love him, and he is taking advantage of your feelings. While it’s hard, you need to acknowledge that you’re letting him walk all over you. Toxic love can feel like a drug – start looking at the cold reality of how he is treating you, rather than an ideal of how you’d like him to be.”
Deidre believes the woman deserves someone who will love her wholeheartedly and offer the commitment she deserves, not someone who uses her as a backup option.
Finding Support and Moving On
Deidre recommends seeking help through support groups or therapy to navigate this challenging period. Her support packs, ”Addictive Love” and “Mend Your broken Heart,” offer valuable resources and guidance.
Reaching Out for Help
Every problem gets a personal reply from one of our trained counselors.
Fill out and submit our easy-to-use and confidential form and the Dear Deidre team will get back to you. You can also send a private message on the DearDeidreOfficial Facebook page or email us at:
## Heartbreak before the Holidays: A Dear Deidre Q&A
**Q: Deidre, my world is shattered.** A year ago, just before Christmas, my husband of 26 years said he was leaving.I was devastated,but held on to hope things would work out. Now, I’ve learned he’s been involved with a coworker – another married person. I feel betrayed and so lost.
**A:** **Jane,** my heart goes out to you. Discovering infidelity,especially after 26 years of marriage,is incredibly painful. It’s understandable you’re feeling lost and betrayed.
**Q:** He keeps going back and forth. One minute he’s wanting to come home, the next he’s at his mom’s. He says he’s confused, but how can I trust him again?
**A:** **Jane,** his actions are a clear indication that you can’t trust him. This pattern of waffling reveals a lack of commitment and respect for you. It’s
vital to recognize that his confusion doesn’t excuse his betrayal. You deserve someone who chooses you wholeheartedly.
**Q: I know deep down I need to move on, but letting go feels impossible. I still love him.
**A:** **Jane**, it’s crucial to acknowledge the toxic nature of this situation. While your love is real, he’s using it to keep you on a string, giving him options and control.
This is akin to a drug addiction—you’re fixated on the idealized version of him and the relationship, rather than the painful reality.
**Q: what can I do to heal and find happiness again?
**A:** **Jane,** focus on healing yourself. Seek support thru therapy or support groups. Remember, you’re not alone in this experience. My support packs, “Addictive Love” and “Mend Your Broken Heart,” offer practical tools and guidance.
**You deserve someone who deserves you, someone who will love and cherish you fully.** This journey won’t be easy, but with time and support, you will find your strength and happiness again.
## Heartbreak Before the Holidays: When Love Turns Toxic – A Q&A
**Q: Dear Deidre,** my world is shattered. A year ago, just before Christmas, my husband of 26 years said he was leaving. I was devastated but held onto hope things would work out.Now, I’ve learned he’s been involved with a coworker – another married person. I feel betrayed and so lost.
**A: Jane,** my heart goes out to you. Discovering infidelity, especially after 26 years of marriage, is incredibly painful. It’s understandable you’re feeling lost and betrayed.
**Q: ** He keeps going back and forth. One minute he’s wanting to come home, the next he’s at his mom’s. He says he’s confused, but how can I trust him again?
**A: Jane**, his actions are a clear indication that you can’t trust him.This pattern of waffling reveals a lack of commitment and respect for you.
It’s vital to recognize that his confusion doesn’t excuse his betrayal. You deserve someone who chooses you wholeheartedly.
**Q: ** I know deep down I need to move on, but letting go feels impractical. I still love him.
**A: Jane,** it’s crucial to acknowledge the toxic nature of this situation. While your love is real, he’s using it to keep you on a string, giving him options and control.
This is akin to a drug addiction—you’re fixated on the idealized version of him and the relationship, rather than the painful reality.
**Q: What can I do to heal and find happiness again?
**A: Jane,** focus on healing yourself. Seek support through therapy or support groups. Remember, you’re not alone in this experience. My support packs, “Addictive Love” and “mend Your Broken Heart,” offer practical tools and guidance.
You deserve someone who deserves you, someone who will love and cherish you fully. This journey won’t be easy, but with time and support, you will find your strength and happiness again.
Let me know if you’d like me to elaborate on any of these points or create additional Q&A dialogue based on the provided information.