Dubai, United Arab Emirates (CNN) — If you believe that someone in your family has an eating disorder, supporting that person can greatly contribute to their recovery.
Eating disorders affect at least 9% of the world’s population, including about 30 million Americans.
More than 10,000 people die of eating disorders each year, and that’s just in the USA.
The pandemic has led to an increase in the number and severity of cases, according to a January study published in The Lancet Psychiatry.
For his part, Alvin Tran, associate professor of public health at the University of New Haven in Connecticut, said that those close to someone with an eating disorder “play a big role by simply paying attention and identifying potential risk factors or signs.”
Tran does research on eating disorders and body image.
One of the easiest things to do is ask how to help, said Joanne Hendelman, clinical director of the National Eating Disorders Alliance.
But you have to learn first, she added, because not knowing enough can be harmful.
Here’s what you should know about supporting someone with an eating disorder:
1. Know the signs
Early intervention is key, Tran said, and the ability to recognize the signs of eating disorders is essential.
Knowing the facts about weight, nutrition and exercise can help you convince anyone about the myths that fuel their eating habits, according to the National Eating Disorders Association.
Here are some common signs that could indicate a loss of weight or body size or shape, according to the National Eating Disorders Association:
emotional and behavioral signs
- Frequently looking in the mirror to look for perceived flaws
- Preoccupation with weight, food, calories, carbs, fat grams, and diet
- Refusal to eat certain foods or whole foods
- Annoyance about eating with others
- Establish an eating ritual, such as eating a certain food, chewing excessively, or not letting foods touch other foods
- Skipping meals or eating small portions
- Stay away from friends and activities
- severe mood swings
physical signs
- Significant increase or decrease in weight
- Complaints of digestive problems such as stomach cramps, constipation, and acid reflux
- Difficulty concentrating
- Dizziness, especially when standing up
- fainting
- Feeling cold often
- Tooth discoloration, cavities or loss
- Dry skin, hair and brittle nails
- swelling under the ears
- Fine hair on the body (fluff)
- Weakness
2. Share your concerns
And if you want to confront your loved one about the signs you’ve noticed, reviewing what you have to say can help relieve some of your stress, according to the National Eating Disorders Association.
Make an appointment to talk in a private setting. Instead of asking if someone has an eating disorder, making accusations or giving opinions, use realistic “I” statements about what you’ve observed.
This could mean saying, “Hey, I noticed you’re preoccupied or talking more about dieting,” Tran says.
Tran and Hendelman note that bringing up a person’s weight or appearance is rarely appropriate or helpful.
The National Eating Disorders Association suggests not giving simplistic advice like “just eat” or “just stop eating.”
And you should be prepared for defensive reactions to your advice, too, and some people may get angry if your awareness threatens their chances of getting what they want through an eating disorder.
If that happens, reiterate your concerns, confirm that you care about the person and leave room for the conversation, according to the National Eating Disorders Association.
3. Encourage asking for help
People with eating disorders need professional help to recover. If they don’t have a doctor or therapist but are willing to recover, you can offer to help find a doctor or attend appointments with them.
The National Eating Disorders Association notes that getting effective treatment as soon as possible greatly increases a person’s chances of recovery.
4. Emphasize the importance of recovery
Whether a person wants to travel, make friends, have children, or pursue a career, they may have goals that their eating disorder has frustrated.
The National Eating Disorders Association advises reminding the person of these goals, which will help focus on long-term recovery, rather than the perceived short-term benefits of this disordered behavior.
5. Avoid judging the body
You should avoid making statements that could provoke feelings of anger, for example comments such as “Wow are you going to eat two cakes”.
6. Maintain a multi-faceted relationship
If all you talk about with your loved one is an eating disorder, that person might push you away, Hindelman warned.
In general, an eating disorder is just a cover-up in terms of what’s going on with the person, and it may mask problems such as depression, anxiety, trauma or insecurity.
“You have to understand that this person is in pain, and that eating is the way they numb their pain in order to get through the day,” Hendelman explained.
Sometimes just doing fun activities and relaxing together can do two things: ease everything the person is going through, and show that you are there for them without disturbing them.
In general, supporting someone with an eating disorder requires patience, knowledge, understanding, and compassion. However, you should be assertive, and “don’t wait until the situation is so serious that your friend’s life is in danger,” according to the National Eating Disorders Association.