Adopting a Child with Special Needs: A Family’s Inspiring Journey

2024-01-21 05:00:00

A little girl without a family who no one wanted to adopt because of her serious health problems today fills her parents with joy, who even want to have a second child with special needs.

“She’s perfect for us! It was intended for us, that’s for sure,” breathes Johanne Côté proudly, looking at her six-year-old daughter, Lilou*.

“We are told that she looks like us!”

A nurse by profession, Ms. Côté has always wanted children, but she is infertile. Unable to mourn the loss of motherhood, in her forties, she turned to adoption with her partner.

After hearing about the Emmanuel Association, they took steps to adopt a child with special needs in Quebec. Quickly, the call for Lilou came and the couple from Sainte-Monique-de-Honfleur, in Lac-Saint-Jean, decided to dive.

Six months in intensive care

“At some point, we go there with our feelings», confides the 52-year-old woman.

“We found it less bad than we expected. They didn’t hide anything, they took everything to the extreme, she remembers. We felt really supported.”

Born with a congenital diaphragmatic hernia, Lilou had a lung that had developed poorly. Resuscitated twice at birth, she spent the first six months of her life in intensive care.

Abandoned by her parents, she was entrusted at just 10 months to Ms. Côté and her partner. At the time, his list of health problems was long:

  • Pulmonary hypertension
  • Gavage
  • Oxygen at home
  • Psychomotor delay
  • Lots of crises

“At the beginning, I felt like a nurse,” admits her mother. The child comes with a past. You have to understand this story even if big parts of it are missing,” she confides.

Now six years old, Lilou no longer needs oxygen at home and is no longer force-fed. Her lung health is good, but she will remain fragile throughout her life.

Ms. Côté admits she had to work hard to develop an emotional bond with her daughter, but she succeeded.

“Today, I don’t feel like anything other than my mother.”

Johanne Côté adopted a severely disabled little girl (whose identity is protected) in 2017. Thanks to good treatment, she is doing much better today. Photo in Saguenay on Saturday, December 9, 2023. ROGER GAGNON / AGENCE QMI Roger Gagnon / Agence QMI

A second child?

A very energetic child who likes to help, Lilou follows the regular school curriculum, but is sometimes a little slower in certain learning areas. In total, its adoption took approximately 18 months.

Filled with happiness, her parents are even considering adopting a second child with special needs.

“There are no perfect children for adoption. There are still surprises, underlines Ms. Côté. There are fewer people who are ready to adopt these children. We, with our experience, think we can just help. Why not give this to another child?”

One thing is certain, there is no question of putting pressure on Lilou by comparing her to other children, her mother swears.

“The important thing is to bring her to the end of herself,” she philosophizes.

*Fictitious name to protect the little girl

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