2024-04-12 13:45:32
Painful experiences disturb happiness and well-being… How can they be transformed into positive ones?
Whether it’s illness, injury, job loss, relationship breakdown, or just an embarrassing social faux pas, stressful and traumatic experiences can have a lasting impact on happiness and well-being; So the important question is: Can one feel more positively about past negative events, perhaps viewing them as having been beneficial?
According to what the Psychology Today website quoted from a research recently published by VanEpps and Truncellito in the journal Current Opinion in Psychology, the answer is yes.
The paper argues that cognitive reappraisal and storytelling techniques can help us deal more effectively with negative experiences.
Neutralizing the bad: Cognitive reappraisal
According to the research, cognitive reappraisal is also a potential mechanism behind the effectiveness of storytelling.
One way to “neutralize” past unhappiness is to reframe it in a more positive way. This process, known as cognitive reappraisal, often involves giving the upsetting event new meaning, or downplaying its stressful properties.
To learn how to do this, imagine that you experienced an event in your life that was painful, embarrassing, or upsetting. Let’s say you went through a bad breakup, and as a result, you can’t stop thinking negative thoughts, such as: “My husband left me,” or: “I will never recover from this.”
Cognitive reappraisal helps change your feelings about the breakup by changing your assumptions and interpretations. For example, it can help you reframe a breakup as a learning experience or an opportunity for something positive, such as self-discovery, growth, and a more committed and fulfilling romantic relationship in the future.
Changing the interpretation of a stressful event makes it possible to reduce its negative emotional impact.
But can we do better?
Beyond Neutralization: Recovering the Past Through Storytelling
Storytelling helps reconstruct unpleasant experiences and “reclaim the past,” and can therefore influence future decisions.
To illustrate, imagine you are planning a global adventure. In addition, imagine that you have psychic powers, and you can see in full detail some of the negative things that will happen during the trip.
With that in mind, what are the chances of going on this adventure? Maybe not as high as it used to be.
However, what this cost-benefit analysis ignores is the narrative value of the trip.
In other words, it ignores the potential benefit of adventure narratives, including unpleasant, painful, and embarrassing events.
Storytelling is a surprisingly versatile style; Because not all good stories perform the same function: some inform, while others persuade or warn. Some are entertaining, while others promote bonding or motivate and inspire.
Therefore, there is value in sharing the story of your experiences, both positive and negative.
One way to change how a past stressful event makes us feel is to use cognitive reappraisal, changing the way we think about the event.
The site gave an example: Joe wanted to try something new, so he went on a kayaking trip. Even though the trip was led by expert guides, Joe still felt afraid, but he did the experience despite his fear. Overall, the trip went well and was mostly enjoyable, but things didn’t go smoothly.
Specifically, Joe lost his balance twice, and once fell from the raft. One time he got so scared when the raft hit a big rock that he peed his pants a little.
When these things happened he was well aware of his tendency to think negative thoughts (e.g., harsh self-judgment); So try using some emotion regulation techniques.
How do we apply reappraisal and storytelling techniques to reduce negative emotions?
Downplaying the unwanted event: Joe reminded himself that loss of balance and stress urinary incontinence are very common and not big problems. Besides, there were plenty of positive things in the adventure that he could focus on instead.
Reframe the experience and give it a new meaning. The trip was an amazing learning experience, and an opportunity for Joe to challenge himself, expand his hobbies, and hone his skills. He reminded himself how grateful he was to be participating in this adventure.
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