Breaking the Silence: #Metoogarçons and the Hidden Stories of Male Victims of Sexual Violence

2024-02-28 23:48:21

The launch of the hashtag #Metoogarçons, triggered by the speech of French actor Aurélien Wiik, sparked several hundred testimonies on social networks from men victims of sexual violence whose stories have long been barely heard.

On February 22, on the eve of a César ceremony marked by an unprecedented wave of accusations of sexual violence, launched in particular by the actress Judith Godrèche, the 43-year-old actor indicated that he had been “abused” from the age of 11 to 15. by his agent and having filed a complaint at 16 because his attacker “did it to others”.

His message brings in its wake several hundred testimonies on the social network X which, quickly go beyond the boundaries of the seventh art.

Speaking immediately, French MP Andy Kerbrat revealed that he had been “abused of [s]three to four years ago by a predator, who has since died without any possibility of justice.”

“People believe you and love you [ce qui a été mon cas grâce à mes parents]. You will achieve great things so keep expressing yourself. If you can, go to court. We don’t heal, but we repair ourselves. Together,” adds the 33-year-old MP.

“Brakes in society”

French journalist and writer Adrien Borne, 42, who publicly reported in 2016 that he had been the victim of a child molester, confides that he “felt very alone” at the time and indicates that he “sees emerging with a mixture of terror and need #metooboys”.

Far from being new, the issue of men affected by sexual violence has long been eclipsed by those suffered by women, who represent an overwhelming share of victims. According to figures from the French Ministry of the Interior, 87% of victims of sexual violence in 2022 were women. The suspects were 97% men.

Beyond the statistical reality, the question has long been taboo, believes Laurent Boyet, president of the Les Papillons association, who testified in 2017 to having been raped by his brother when he was six years old.

“There are obstacles in society, notably the idea that a man does not cry, he is strong, that a man cannot be a victim,” he notes.

“Very often we say to male victims: ‘It’s not possible because you’re a man, why didn’t you defend yourself?’ That’s what I was told,” adds Arnaud Gallais, president of another association of victims of sexual violence and himself a victim.

Facing “loneliness”

For a long time, vigilance was focused more on girls than on boys regarding child victims of sexual violence, confirms Sébastien Chauvin, sociologist specializing in gender issues. “Boys were freer and for a long time this possibility of sexual violence was completely inaudible,” he says.

“Whereas, when you’re a man and you’re talking about what happened, there’s a loneliness that comes with the words. Patriarchy does not invite the exchange of words between men, you have to be strong,” he emphasized.

In 2021, the wave of #Metooincest was an opportunity for many men who were victims of pedophiles during their childhood to testify. This movement was followed by #MetooGay but this raised more “the question of consent in the gay world, including between adults” and obscured, according to the sociologist, the power relationships at work in the world of work. or family circles.

And now ? For Laurent Boyet, “the issue is no longer the freedom of speech but whether society will finally hear us”.

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