2024-02-01 13:59:24
February 1, 2024
If you are in a relationship and have decided to undergo cosmetic surgery, it is recommended to talk to your other half in advance. Not so much to obtain their approval as to associate them with your project. And make it a true ally. Advice Valérie Grumelin, psychoanalyst in Paris.
A complex that dates back to childhood or your body that has changed after one or more pregnancies? Whatever the reason, your cosmetic surgery plan is final. While this is obviously a decision that is personal to you, it would be better to anticipate and talk to your partner if you live as a couple. Otherwise, he risks feeling betrayed or not understanding. And you yourself could at the same time experience the long-awaited change less well.
Empathy, compassion and understanding
Ideally, “it is best to consult the surgeon together”, even advises Valérie Grumelin. So that your personal project is more of a joint project. Your spouse will then have all the explanations concerning the process, the risks, and the result you expect. This anticipation and these prior explanations will also give him time to “to become aware of the changes to come, to develop empathy for your suffering if he did not yet have the notion of it and to feel compassion”, explains the psychologist. Objective, that your spouse shows himself not only to be an ally but also “protector of your project to the extent that he will have understood to what extent this change is necessary for you and will allow for overall well-being, which can also impact it”.
Both informed of the advantages and disadvantages of the operation, neither will idealize its result. Furthermore, even if the intervention is a success from a surgical point of view, acceptance by the patient, as well as by their spouse, will also be psychological. And marital support contributes greatly to final satisfaction.
It sometimes happens that the spouse opposes the project. In this case, the intervention of a mediator is necessary. It is in all cases harmful and not recommended to carry out the intervention without warning the other person. Under penalty of endangering the couple.
Source: interview with Valérie Grumelin, psychoanalyst, brief cognitive and behavioral therapies, in Paris
Written by: Dominique Salomon – Edited by: Emmanuel Ducreuzet
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