With children back in school and daycare after the holidays, weary parents fear what illness awaits them during this brutal respiratory virus season.
Since October, RSV, a respiratory virus often more severe in young children and older adults, has struck early and cases have begun to rise rapidly. Flu cases began to rise soon after as COVID-19 continued to spread, with new variants surfacing.
Les Centers for Disease Control and Prevention estiment:
- At least 24 million illnesses and 16,000 deaths have occurred from influenza this season;
- About 15% of the US population lives in a county with a “high” community level of COVID-19;
- There were about 14 RSV hospitalizations per 100,000 children under age 5 in the last week of complete data, about eight times higher than the overall hospitalization rate.
CNN spoke to parents across the country about the challenges of this flu season. They described the cancellation of Christmas, missed trips home to see family, and removing their children from daycare to protect them from illness.
Here are some of their stories, told in their own words. Their responses have been edited for length and clarity.
“MAKING BALL DECISIONS TO LEAVE”
Michaela Riley d’Issaquah, Washington
I am a single mother living in suburban Seattle. I work for one of the big companies here. From the outside, I look successful. I have a senior in my title, I regularly receive promotions and recognition. Inside, I’m breaking away from the stress of illness, never taking a real vacation, and now I’m unable to pay for my basic needs.
I had to work during the holidays and I had my children. My parents were going to watch them. Then they caught the norovirus, which also canceled Christmas. Then my daughter’s dad got a terrible flu, so my Christmas backup plan was cancelled. We hadn’t celebrated Christmas until January 7 because everyone was recovering.
I have daughters aged 4 and 11. Basically, the whole month of November one of us was sick. My kids got RSV and were so sick for 14 days. After that, I got it. I didn’t have a vacation, so I had to work from home with them. It was a very long and trying time.
As a single parent, I have always sought to keep all the balls in the air. But now it’s so much harder than what I’m actually doing is deciding which ball to drop, just to keep going.
I used every vacation day for my kids to be sick, or I was sick, or I had to take a mental health day because I was totally overwhelmed since the start of quarantine. I was supposed to go camping last year with the family. I had COVID for the fourth time and had to cancel. I’m going a little crazy.
The group I work with was so supportive and understood my situation. They honestly helped me through the worst times.
I have this hashtag for 2023: #BeFree23. Instead of focusing on the struggle, I focus on what works in my life. I feel better about 2023. I don’t think anything will change, but changing my mindset is the only thing I have control over.
“AS PARENTS AND HEALTHCARE PROFESSIONALS, WE ARE NOT RESPONDING WELL”
Jason Hecht d’Ann Arbor, Michigan
I am a doctor who works in intensive care with a woman who works in primary care. Not only are we struggling on the healthcare worker side with the massive demands this season, but we’re also struggling a lot more at home.
The last month or two has probably been the most mentally and emotionally taxing I have ever had in my life. We have a 2 year old and a 3 month old. He was our youngest who was sick about a month ago and ended up in intensive care on a ventilator with RSV.
At the time, we had a healthy and thriving 2 month old baby with no problems in the world. Seeing him knocked down so quickly and being on the verge of almost dying in the intensive care unit was very disappointing for my wife and me. Seeing your baby so sick – that part alone was very emotionally draining.
I was only too aware of the seriousness of his illness. It was difficult to play the role of father, husband and caretaker because the pull was so strong to shift into health care provider mode.
We had to completely turn our lives upside down, take the two children out of daycare. We always strive to find a reliable source of childcare that is safe for both of them, including our now vulnerable son. We continue to pay for the day care spaces for the two children, even if they do not go, because the day care waiting lists are very long. As parents and healthcare workers, we are not doing well.
We’ve used six or seven weeks of full PTO so far since it happened in November. It was difficult too, my wife coming out of maternity leave. Her maternity leave was mostly unpaid, so it had already been three months since we went without her paycheck. I don’t have paternity leave.
I’m very passionate about what I do and I love being able to help people when they’re at their worst in intensive care. It’s been hard having to put all of that aside and just prioritize being a parent right now.
“MY SOUL HAS LEFT MY BODY”
Adriana from Warwick, Rhode Island (she requested that her last name not be used)
The only reason I waited only two hours in the ER was because my son stopped breathing. Everyone rushed to take care of him. His oxygen levels were at 73. My youngest caught RSV at 7 weeks.
My soul left my body when I was in the hospital. I saw that there was a respiratory therapist, a pediatrician and two nurses, they laid my baby down and they started sucking out all the mucus because he was so clogged he couldn’t breathe . They put him on oxygen.
I couldn’t believe how lucky we were that he responded to the treatment as quickly as he did.
Now I always carry a small oximeter with me. If he gets stuffy or something, I put that on his finger. It’s part of my diaper bag.
Between my son being hospitalized for one night and the two children’s deductibles and co-payments, we have a debt of $3,000, just from September until today. He only received two doses of Tylenol in the hospital and it cost almost $300.
Every time I call the pediatrician’s office, they pretty much triage us over the phone to see if the child is sick enough to grant a visit due to the way they are being criticized. I constantly redial the number for several minutes just to get through. When you enter the office, you can see that they are all very tired.
I think everything related to children lately in the country is neglected. There is always the shortage of formula. Many parents like me are still struggling to find the right formula. I drive all around Rhode Island to find it, and I’m lucky if I can get two cans. My baby is allergic to cow’s milk protein, so it’s not like I could give him any formula.
We usually fly home for vacation – I’m from Puerto Rico. But this year, we stayed at home. It was a disappointment for my eldest because he is used to spending the holidays with the grandparents.
“WE HAVE NOT VISITED OUR (COUNTRY) HOUSE FOR THE LAST THREE YEARS”
Mahbubur Rahman de Bonney Lake, Washington
In the past three months we have had five colds, four ear infections, visited emergency care 10 times and the emergency room four times, once while my child was sick with RSV. In the past two years, my child has only had one cold.
This is our first child. He’s a COVID kid – he’s not on display anywhere because we’ve been staying home for the past two years. When we started sending him to kindergarten, it started happening, everything fell into place: facing the fear of COVID, viruses like the flu, then RSV.
My child had a fever seizure. His temperature can’t go over 102 and we have to continuously use Tylenol and ibuprofen just to keep him under control. It happens like every week. We have prepared our car with emergency things if we have to stay in the hospital. We always pack our bag and put it in our car – like it’s still there.
I work from home and my wife does not work. Yet we feel exhausted. In the last two months, I think I’ve done 50% of the work I usually do. When my son and wife had RSV, my manager just told me to manage my time whenever I can work, and it doesn’t have to be 9am to 5pm.
For the holidays, we had planned to return to our country, Bangladesh, but we had to cancel the trip. We haven’t visited our house for the past three years. Did this in 2019 before COVID and never went back because my wife was pregnant and then my child was born.
I hope it will pass and that everything will be better this year. But the fear and the emotions, I think, are not going away anytime soon.
“WE HAVE BEEN ON THIS ENDLESS JOURNEY SINCE OCTOBER”
Stephanie Archinas-Murphin de Lakewood, Californie
My 3 year old daughter started kindergarten in September and of course she caught three viruses – RSV, rhinovirus and pneumonia – all at the same time. She spent four days in the hospital, and it was hell watching her go through it.
It’s very heartbreaking to see her go out and discover the world. And now all these things are happening with her getting sick. We want to have a different experience for her.
We have just about everything. My eldest daughter caught the flu, my husband and I too. We have been on this endless journey since October.
When my youngest was sick, she had to go away for three weeks. My husband was away for two weeks just to take care of her. But when we caught the flu after Thanksgiving, my husband had no free time. I have a private practice and I don’t get PTO’s but I’ve had to bear the brunt of it and cancel my clients. It was a dent in our income because I had no salary. Fortunately, I have some savings, which helped me a lot.
When I ran out of Motrin and my daughter Morgan had the flu, I posted it on Instagram. My relative asked me if I wanted some and even dropped off Motrin for me and drove almost 40 miles. It was so comforting to know that there are people watching over me.
I’m all about taking it one day at a time. I don’t want to overwhelm myself. I’m not going to stop planning or going out, but I’m aware that things can change.