“We all want to leave a good memory. Human beings aspire to kindness, to do good, to give and to give ourselves to others. But at some point we forget it and we stop exercising that kindness that makes ourselves and others happier,” says José Luis Bimbela Pedrola.
As proof of this human aspiration to goodness, Bimbela highlights the responses given to Ainhoa Videgain, a psychologist specialized in treating people with cancer, by the patients she accompanies in their last days of life, when she asks them with dignity and respectfully: “How would you like to be remembered…?”
All of Videgain’s patients respond by talking about positive aspects: “I would like you to remember me as a good father, as a good son, as a friend of my friends, as a good life partner…”, explains Bimbela, author of the book Practical and radical goodness.
However, before reaching the final stage of our existence, in which we may have time for reflection but a narrow window for action, we humans can do a lot to make kindness an everyday practice, by doing reality the aspiration that our loved ones remember us as good people.
“We can, if we choose, do and train, recover our wonderful natural tendency toward kindness. We can recover that capacity, quality, inclination or ability to give our best, to do and do good to ourselves. In theory and practice; in the bright days and the dark nights; with intention and action; in body and soul,” he emphasizes.
Bimbela is a multifaceted professional: he has a doctorate in Psychology and a master’s degree in Public Health, he studied Economic Sciences and Theater, and he is part of the teaching staff of the Andalusian School of Public Health, specialized in ‘counselling’ (advice for physical, mental and emotional health). . He defines himself as a teacher and vocational trainer and works as a lecturer and writer.
This psychologist and counselor has carefully chosen the three words with which he titles his most recent book, and to which he considers that there is “nothing to add.”
Those words are: “kindness” (natural inclination to do good); “practice” (exercise of any art or faculty, according to its rules); and “radical” (fundamental, root).
He explains that the concepts “practical” and “radical” are fundamental to doing good, since for example “acting without thinking about the consequences is not kindness, while acting without prior reflection is not kind either.”
He points out that “Science, necessarily slower than we would like, and intuition, fortunately more valued every day, are adding hopeful findings and conclusions about goodness.”
Recognition of this quality has been increasing. For example, since 1998 and at the initiative of the World Kindness Movement, World Kindness Day is celebrated every November 13, to reaffirm good deeds in people and communities around the world, according to Bimbela.
In this sense, it stands out that the American neuropsychologist Richard Davidson has pointed out that “kindness is the basis of a healthy brain and can be trained,” and that the Spanish psychiatrist Jorge L. Tizón has written that “kindness can be taken as proven.” solidarity tendency as basic in humanity, psychologically and biologically.”
Bimbela points out that to recover and exercise kindness, we need to “link it with the five dimensions of human health: physical, emotional, social, spiritual and ethical.” Next, he suggests 10 simple gestures to work positively in these dimensions and that we can apply in our daily lives, focusing on different areas:
Ten gestures to be a kind person
- Kindness to oneself. When you take stock, at the end of the day, first recognize everything you have done and tried.
- Kindness to a stranger. Use a cordial and friendly tone of voice when addressing that person you don’t know, ensuring that your body language is relaxed and calm.
- Kindness to a friend. Ask him, from time to time and calling him by his first name: how can I help you?
- Kindness to a family member. Before talking to him, ask yourself what the objective of the question you are going to ask him is; If the goal is not beneficial to that family member, avoid that question.
- Kindness to a son. Respect and validate their decisions, opinions, feelings, fears, doubts and fears.
- Kindness to our partner. Already lying in bed and holding hands, each member of the couple will be grateful for five good things that happened that day.
- Kindness to a neighbor. She makes it a habit to give him a friendly greeting, both verbally and non-verbally.
- Kindness to an animal. At the very least you shouldn’t damage it, which is a lot in itself.
- Kindness to nature. Reduce the consumption of “everything” in general and water in particular.
- Kindness to an adversary. Eliminate the “buts” from any conversation with that person.
Bimbela also suggests a ‘mantra’ (thought, word, syllable or phrase that is recited to support meditation or to invoke something higher) that can facilitate the practice of the previous ways of doing good and promote individual and collective change. towards goodness.
This ‘mantra’, which the therapist Dolors Sangenís conveyed to him, is the word “Trust”. The thing is that to get closer to a more sustainable, deep, intense and lasting goodness, we need to cultivate three fundamental kinds of trust: “in oneself; in others; and in life,” concludes Bimbela.
#Decalogue #good