2024-04-26 17:05:06
How to forgive infidelity? How to forgive betrayal? Forgiving infidelity means giving your relationship a new chance. In a pictorial way, it’s going from a stormy period to a sunny period where we give ourselves the opportunity to create new good moments… What if we gave ourselves another chance and chose to rebuild his relationship? Focus on the key stages of a path strewn with pitfalls to forgive infidelity.
Infidelity: should I forgive?
Forgive an infidelity? No one is required to do so. Indeed, even if current society tends to trivialize deception, cheating is not a trivial act. Often, it is even a sign of much deeper problems and unhappiness in the relationship.
First of all, we need to take stock. With yourself, but also with your partner. Because reconciliation can only take place if both people have the desire to start from scratch and consider future projects, together.
Do we really want to forgive?
Forgiving is not a sign of weakness. On the contrary, it often even denotes great strength of character, an ability to question oneself and, above all, very strong love. But the relationship risks having lasting consequences from this prank. But – obviously – nothing obliges us to give up.
Does my partner want me to forgive him?
Above all, you must ensure your partner’s intentions. Because deception, even if it takes place in a moment of weakness, can also be a revealing slip of the tongue… and allow the person who commits it to realize thathe doesn’t really believe in his relationship anymore and in his relationship.
Am I responsible for his deception?
Forgiving and reconciling also means admitting that both parties have their share of responsibility. To move forward, we communicate and give ourselves the opportunity to talk and express our feelings and feelings. It’s also the time to tell each other everything: to confess all the secrets that we may have kept until now to make a clean slate of the past. Brief, sincerity is the basis of a solid relationship. During this moment of sharing, we take it upon ourselves and avoid interrupting ourselves and let the other person speak.
Obviously, far be it from us to further burden the person who suffers such a betrayal. But discovering the truth is not always the most difficult time to go through when it comes to infidelity… Recovering from such an ordeal is a long process which will require doing (a lot of) work on self. Even when we are the ‘victim’ of this gap. And for good reason, finding a healthy and peaceful couple relationship is a titanic task.
Forgiving Deception: The Stages of Forgiveness and Reconciliation
Ready to give your relationship another chance? Here are the main steps on the path to reconciliation, listed by Marie-Aude Binet, marriage and family counselor, sexologist:
1. Admit your share of responsibility. First we face facts, and we admit that we have hurt or been hurt.
2. Be a good listener. We listen to our partner and seek to understand each other. An essential step to renew the dialogue.
3. Make a decision. We make a decision: do we really want to forgive?
Whether you choose to move on from infidelity or decide to break up, working on yourself and the reasons that pushed the other to act is, in all cases, essential to achieve move forward, alone or together.
4. Act forgiveness. To really succeed in turning the page and projecting yourself beyond, the marriage and family counselor advises taking a concrete action which symbolizes forgiveness,
5. Open a new chapter. The last stage of the journey is a long-term stage which will last for a while within the couple and will consist of demonstrating goodwill… on both sides.
6. Listen to yourself. Sometimes, even though forgiveness has been achieved, the relationship can experience turmoil. And even if we have agreed to move on we can – ultimately – realize that we do not want to give this relationship a second chance. There is no point, then, in committing a new betrayal and deceiving your partner once again. It is better to take advantage of the newfound communication to have a frank and honest discussion… which will allow everyone to better project themselves.
In any case, we do not lock ourselves into a spiral of depression. To stay positive and get through it, we think every day of someone or a moment that made us happy, and during the forgiveness periodwe should not try to change the other, but rather to accept it, to accept yourself to build a solid future. If the need arises, we can also consult a couples therapistwhich will help us move forward.
More advice in the book “Infidelities and marital crises, understanding and getting out of the crisis”, by Marie-Aude Binet published by Odile Jacob, €8.78 on Amazon.
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