2016-09-23 17:45:00
Remember when you fell in love with each other. Every detail was perfect and beautiful, your couple exuded happiness and compatibility. Getting to know each other was exciting. And in case of difference, each partner showed patience, tolerance and kindness. Gradually, this pretty phase is transformed. By making a habit of spending time together, daily responsibilities take over and small insignificant details can end up exasperating us. Especially when you are going through a stressful time.
This step, completely normal, is painful. But letting annoyance take over is dangerous because it risks damaging the relationship by turning into irritation or even disappointment. Learn to break the vicious circle and restore a warm bond with your partner.
Become aware of feelings
Whenever something annoys you about another person, even if you don’t talk about it, you are judging that person. At this precise moment, you feel better, superior, and it is a risk. Because right after, the distance and the lack of connection between you two will take over.
When judgment becomes a habit, it can destroy a relationship.
To avoid falling into this trap, try to remember how bad judgment is for your couple when you feel the growing exasperation. Change that habit by taking another point of view and saying to yourself “it’s his way, and I don’t have to question him about it“. Your partner is not guilty of your feeling of annoyance. Blaming them for your irritation is unfair and only increases everyone’s suffering.
Change yourself, not the other
Helping the loved one to reduce their annoying behavior “for their own good” is very tempting. But how would you feel if another person tried to change you? If this person believed that you should become better? You would probably be humiliated, ashamed, embarrassed or angry. Don’t inflict these feelings on your other half and your relationship in general. Instead, try changing the way you see things.
By focusing each on your personal development and only giving advice to the other if they ask you for it, you will achieve much better results than trying to change each other.
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