2023-08-19 17:08:29
Published19. Aug 2023, 7:08 p.m
Doctor Sex: “I’m afraid of having sex with my girlfriend!”
Finn has strange physical sensations and feels uncomfortable making love with his new girlfriend. A check with the doctor did not reveal anything. What’s wrong with him?
vonPexels/Inzmam Khan
Question from Finn (24) to Doctor Sex
Answer from Doctor Sex
Before we get started: pain in and around the genitals and all abnormalities that have to do with the kidneys and urination belong to the specialty of the urologist. What you describe may very well have organic causes. It therefore makes sense to have your family doctor refer you for a more specific examination.
But now to the possibility that the cause of your suffering is psychological: fears that arise during sex are often an issue in my practice. However, they are expressed much more frequently by men than by women. In particular, I’ve never heard a woman talk about the fear of “failing” during sex.
Men’s fear of failure has nothing to do with the image that those affected have of being a man – not only, but also during sex. And this is usually characterized by performance and efficiency. Men are always oriented towards the top and want to be among the successful.
With regard to women, this means convincing a potential sexual or relationship partner of your own bio-socio-economic potency, then seducing her into sex using all the rules of the art of flirting, having a rock-hard erection and the conquered in the to bring the most blatant positions to gigantic orgasms.
Even if no man really knows how to do this: this idea, or rather this claim, is firmly anchored in people’s heads and leads to great suffering – for the men, but also for the women, because they become the object of this largely egotistical performance made.
There are many small signs that tell men that something is wrong with their attitude and actions. In addition to a basic uneasiness towards life, this includes some forms of erectile dysfunction – often incorrectly referred to as impotence in the vernacular – premature ejaculation and listlessness.
Tackling the problem at the root means not starting with sex or these symptoms in detail, but with you as a person and man!
Examine your values – radically and critically. What you do or don’t do, how you stand in life ultimately depends on your attitude and your beliefs.
Because imprints are strongly related to the upbringing and socialization of a person, it usually makes sense to approach such a personality analysis with professional support. All the best!
Your question to Doctor Sex
Bruno Wermuth runs his own practice in Bern and Zurich Couples Counseling and sex counseling through. Once a week, as “Doctor Sex”, he answers a question on the topics of relationships, love and sexuality. www.brunowermuth.ch
1692471200
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