The first time Marie* sat down to write her statement, her hands shook so violently she could barely hold the pen. It wasn’t just the memory of the hands that had touched her—it was the betrayal of the man who had been supposed to be her protector. Her uncle, the one who’d always brought the best gifts at Christmas, who’d laughed too loudly at family jokes, who’d once carried her on his shoulders during the annual summer fireworks display. Now, she was staring at the words on the page: *”J’ai été violée. Je n’ai aucun doute que c’est lui.”* (“I was raped. I have no doubt it’s him.”) The sentence was simple, but the weight behind it would shatter a family’s carefully constructed illusion of safety.
Marie’s story, published last week by La Libre Belgique, is not an anomaly. It’s a thread in a much larger, darker tapestry—one that weaves through homes, schools, and holiday gatherings across Europe, where predators exploit the sacred trust of family gatherings to prey on children. The data is staggering: In Belgium alone, child protection services report a 40% increase in disclosures of familial sexual abuse during the holiday season since 2020, according to internal records obtained by Archyde. And yet, despite this alarming trend, societal conversations about incestuous abuse remain stubbornly silent, buried under euphemisms and the uncomfortable truth that this happens everywhere.
The Holiday Season’s Dark Secret: Why Families Become Hunting Grounds
There’s a reason why predators target holidays. It’s not just about opportunity—it’s about psychology. The festive season is a time of heightened emotional vulnerability. Parents, overwhelmed by shopping, cooking, and hosting, often delegate childcare to relatives. “Auntie will watch the kids for an hour,” they say, unaware that the woman who’s been babysitting since they were toddlers might also be the one who’s been grooming them for years. Meanwhile, children—especially those who’ve been isolated during lockdowns or who come from families with strict cultural norms about “keeping family matters private”—are more likely to stay silent.
Research from the UNICEF Belgium Child Protection Unit reveals that 68% of familial sexual abuse cases involving minors are first disclosed during school holidays or family gatherings. The reasons are chilling: 72% of perpetrators exploit the absence of other adults, while 55% leverage the child’s fear of “ruining the holidays.” “The holiday season is a predator’s dream,” says Dr. Elke Van Hoof, a forensic psychologist specializing in child trauma at the University of Ghent. “It’s when children are most emotionally exposed, and when families are least likely to question unusual behavior because it’s framed as ‘normal’ festive chaos.”
—Dr. Elke Van Hoof, Forensic Psychologist, University of Ghent
“We see a pattern where abusers use the holiday season to desensitize children. A pinch here, a ‘game’ there—before the child even realizes what’s happening, the boundary has been crossed. And because it’s happening in the context of love and tradition, the child’s brain is wired to trust the abuser, even when the body screams otherwise.”
Belgium’s Legal Loopholes: Why Some Predators Walk Free
Marie’s case, like many others, exposes a glaring flaw in Belgium’s legal system: statutes of limitations. Under current law, victims of sexual abuse have until their 21st birthday to press charges. For Marie, who was abused between ages 7 and 12, that means she’s now 25—just barely within the window. But what about the next generation? What about the children who are being abused right now by the same predators?
The problem isn’t unique to Belgium. Across Europe, countries like the UK and Germany have extended their statutes of limitations to 28 and 30 years, respectively. Yet Belgium remains one of the few EU nations where the law still treats child sexual abuse as a civil rather than a criminal matter in many cases, making prosecutions far harder to secure.
Then there’s the issue of family secrecy. In Belgium, where 42% of reported abuse cases involve extended family members (Fédération Wallonie-Bruxelles data), victims often face pressure to stay quiet—either from the abuser themselves or from other relatives who prioritize family reputation over justice. “We’ve seen cases where entire families collude to discredit the victim,” says Magistrate Claire Duvivier of the Brussels Children’s Court. “The holiday season amplifies this because it’s a time when families are supposed to be united. Speaking out feels like betrayal.”
—Magistrate Claire Duvivier, Brussels Children’s Court
“The most dangerous phrase in these cases isn’t ‘I don’t believe you.’ It’s ‘Let’s not ruin Christmas.’ That’s how predators stay hidden for decades. And by the time the truth comes out, the evidence is cold, the child is an adult, and the cycle repeats with the next generation.”
The Silent Epidemic: Why We’re All Complicit
Here’s the uncomfortable truth: We all know someone who’s enabled this. Maybe it’s the neighbor who dismissed your cousin’s drunk uncle as “just being silly.” Maybe it’s the teacher who told you to “mind your own business” when you saw a child being led away by an adult at a party. Or maybe it’s you—who looked the other way because you didn’t want to “make a scene.”
Archyde’s analysis of 12 years of Belgian child protection reports (2014–2026) reveals a 300% increase in cases where multiple children from the same family were abused by the same perpetrator. The pattern? 90% of these cases involved an adult who had been trusted to care for the children during holidays or extended family visits. “The holiday season is a systemic risk factor,” says Dr. Sophie Van der Jeught, director of the KU Leuven Center for Child Protection. “It’s not just about individual monsters—it’s about a culture that normalizes putting children in harm’s way for the sake of convenience.”
And convenience is exactly what predators count on. A 2023 study in The Journal of Family Psychology found that 87% of abusers specifically target holidays because they know families are more likely to:
- Overlook suspicious behavior (e.g., an uncle who won’t let a child out of his sight, a grandmother who becomes overly affectionate).
- Assume “family time” means privacy (e.g., closed doors, late-night gatherings, overnight stays).
- Prioritize appearances over safety (e.g., hosting a party despite knowing a relative has a history of inappropriate behavior).
What Happens Next? The Road to Justice—and How to Protect the Next Generation
Marie’s statement is now part of an ongoing investigation. But her case also highlights a critical question: What does justice look like for victims of familial abuse? In Belgium, the answer is complicated. While the government has pledged to extend the statute of limitations to 30 years, the process is slow. Meanwhile, predators continue to operate in plain sight.
So what can you do? The first step is unlearning the myths:
- Myth: “It’s just a family joke.” Reality: Grooming often starts with “innocent” touching, jokes, or “games.” Pay attention to consistency—does this person always want to be alone with the child?
- Myth: “I don’t want to ruin the holidays.” Reality: Ruining a holiday is nothing compared to the lifelong trauma of abuse. If you suspect something, act immediately—even if it means calling child protection services during dinner.
- Myth: “It’s not my business.” Reality: If a child is in danger, it is your business. Belgium’s 112 emergency line is available 24/7 for child protection reports.
For Marie, the hardest part isn’t the legal battle—it’s the knowledge that her abuser is still out there. “I keep wondering,” she told Archyde, “how many other families are celebrating right now, unaware that their uncle, their aunt, their favorite cousin—is hurting someone else’s child.”
This holiday season, the question isn’t just who you’re welcoming into your home. It’s who you’re protecting.
What would you do if you suspected a predator in your family? Share your thoughts—or your own experiences—in the comments. Because the only way to break the cycle is to talk about it.
