2023-12-13 17:00:00
Sexual scenarios, what are we talking about?
Sexual scenarios refer to imaginary narratives or those created to evoke erotic, naughty or romantic situations.
Sexual, naughty, erotic, romantic scenario…, how are these terms different?
“These terms may very well be used interchangeably to describe situations where partners create a specific context or script for their sexual interaction,” assures Corine Rodrigue, sex therapist. She explains: “Although they share similarities, nuances exist in their intensity. It’s very subjective.
Indeed, for some people, the “sexual” scenario will refer to a practice with penetration; as the “erotic” scenario will be more associated with something more sensual while the “naughty” scenario will perhaps refer more to play.” The couples therapist recalls: “Any exploration of sexuality, even in play, must to be done in the open communication and mutual consent. »
Sexual scenarios, can we talk about sexual practice?
“To the extent that the sexual scenario involves a creative and narrative activityarousing sexual excitement and enriching intimacy between partners, so yes we can talk about sexual practice,” indicates the sex therapist.
True or false: sexual scenarios are more reserved for swinging?
Fake. They are accessible to all types of relationships (between lovers, married couples, occasional partners, etc.), regardless of the emotional and sexual orientation of the partners involved (homosexuality, heterosexuality, bisexuality, pansexuality, etc.).
Why indulge in the sexual scenario or role play? Advantages
Also known as erotic games, Sexual scenarios can be practiced for a variety of reasons. Some people integrate them, for example, into their sex life to:
- Explore and discover : “Sexual games of which scenarios are part can indeed allow partners to to explore and discover new dimensions of their unexpressed personality on a daily basis” notes Corine Rodrigue. “When we’re kids, we dress up, we play with the imagination… Later, once we’re adults, we can transpose this whole universe to explore our intimacy, our sexuality in a different way. It’s an extremely liberating form of escape. »
- Communicate and connect : sexual scenarios also offer a opportunity to communicate openly about their preferences, desires and limits; thus strengthening the emotional connection and complicity between the partners involved.
- Boost sexual desire : Sexual scenarios can add variety and excitement to sex life. For example, we can stimulate different erogenous zones or arouse other arousals using a role play, a worn outfit, etc. All of which can help prevent a certain monotony.
How to find pleasure in bed through the scenario? Our examples, from soft to the most extreme (domination submission, etc.)
There are as many sexual scenarios as there are couples, each person being able to imagine the scene they want to take pleasure through this practice. “It can range from a very sweet scenario (unexpected meeting), to personalized role-playing games using a suit or special outfit (doctor, nurse, cop, hitchhiker, pizza delivery man, plumber, superhero, etc.) by inserting it with sentences such as: “Tonight I am your boss…”.
In a more intense register, sexual partners can also digging into BDSM (Bondage, Domination, Submission, Sadomasochism) with specific accessories such as the riding crop, the whip… or simply for explore specific power dynamics or fantasies like domination/submission. But be careful to do your research before getting started because despite its appearances, BDSM involves many rules and must be structured (set your limits, know how to stop if there is pain, etc.)” warns the sex therapist who adds : “I have had clients who fantasized about rape, this can be considered extreme but is completely OK to explore as long as the partners involved have mutual consent and have discussed it beforehand. “
Naughty scenarios: lacking inspiration? Our ideas (films…)
Do you want to try out the sexual scenario but your imagination doesn’t really know where to start? Don’t hesitate to draw inspiration from watching films, television shows; by consulting books or exploring games that you will both enjoy, and also adapting characters or plots to suit your preferences. If you’re new to role-playing, you can start with familiar settings or light-hearted scenarios to make the experience enjoyable and fun. In short, anything that attracts you can give you intimate ideas! And there is no doubt that your personal interests (fantasies too) will find a place in your sexual scenario.
Sexual scenarios, advice on how to do it well
- Never force and/or squeeze your intimate partner : “Forcing your partner is a no! In addition, an unwanted scenario will not be experienced with pleasure” insists Corine Rodrigue.
- Set and respect your limits and those of your partner: “It is always better to talk about your desires for sexual scenarios, to plan well and to take the time to discuss them with your partner before getting started. It is also essential to establish a safe word (“banana”, “red”…) indicating that we want to stop the practice immediately and even though we are caught up in the sexual game” adds the couples therapist.
- Listen to your sensitivity : “Stop the practice if there is any discomfort, discomfort or if you feel negative emotions. This means that you have reached or discovered a limit and it is better to respect it. »
- Get started in peace : do not rush your partner. Taking your time will allow you to listen to your senses: a guarantee of pleasure.”
- Be consenting : “In childhood, we are not necessarily taught about physical integrity or consent (“right now, I don’t want to hug with mom”, “I have the right not to want to kiss my aunt”….). It’s really important to review the concept of consent: we have the right to say no and have no sexual duty towards anyone, not even our husband or wife,” recalls Corine Rodrigue. Basically: there is a lot of deconstruction to be done to sometimes be able to reconnect with your true self.
As a reminder: anything sexual, erotic, intimate or naughty can be traumatic. “If there is conflict (anger, fear, jealousy, etc.) in the intimate relationship, I do not suggest practicing sexual scenarios, at the risk of exceeding certain limits and wanting to settle scores with the other through play » continues Corine Rodrigue.
It is essential not to show frustration during sexual activity. Corine Rodrigue, sex therapist.
How to insert naughty scenarios into your relationship?
The sex therapist suggests “starting the conversation with your partner, by first expressing your love, your appreciation and the connection you feel towards him or her. And then gently broach the subject of trying something new (sexual scenario) to explore your intimacy differently. »
It is also important to tell him that you want to share this with him or her and to tell him explain what it means to you role play. “And also, to highlight what intrigues you most about this novelty such as fantasy, creativity or the opportunity to deepen your emotional and/or physical connection. Finally, openly asking your partner what he or she thinks of this idea by listening carefully to their thoughts and concerns, without judgment. »
How to innovate in a romantic relationship without involving sexuality?
No need to show yourself naked to rekindle the flame. To innovate in your romantic relationship you can also use open communication (sharing your desires, needs and fantasies). Try new activities together (dancing, jogging, etc.) without forgetting to cultivate your independence and encourage the individual development of your partner. But also, setting common goals to grow together…
If your heart tells you, then all you have to do is…
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