2023-08-15 06:44:48
Welcome to the second episode of “Step Ups”: a new blog project that sends me to the homes of friends who are a few steps ahead of the path and who have agreed to give some spoilers.
This is how I described it in the previous chapter (for those who missed it, here it is):
In three words: Preparation for menopause.
In many more words: Preparing for menopause while understanding that it’s not just about hot flashes, but also the desire to open your entire wingspan, and if possible then there will be beautiful pictures as well.
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The guest this time is Irit Birn, 58, which you must have already come across, in real life or here. I met Irit a few years ago through the blog when she invited me to try out stone work in her studio in Moshav Sde Warburg. Since then she has already established Studio NoW, a dream studio in Jaffa, which also has a hospitality space and a gallery wall that presents changing artists.
I may have known Irit as a ceramicist and a gifted hostess, but I quickly discovered that she had a previous incarnation, which she spent as a lawyer who lived in tailored suits.
When did she make the change? You can guess. Anyway, here’s a start:
Let’s start with the dry details
I am 58 years old, married and a mother of four – three sons and a daughter. I was born in Rehovot and currently live in Moshav Sde Warburg. Immediately after the army I studied law at the Hebrew University, from there I moved to Tel Aviv and from there, further down the road to Maccabi. So far dry enough?
Describe a little about your first incarnation
I completed my internship in law when I was nine months old, and for the next twenty years I worked as a lawyer in the field of corporations and the capital market between giving birth and raising four toddlers. After the fourth child was born, I went on sabbatical and did a master’s degree in business administration at Tel Aviv and Kellogg University. I thought that this degree would complement my skills as a lawyer in the business world and in managing the law firm where I was a partner. After school I went back to practicing law.
Welcome to the age of 45
At the age of 45, for the first time I raised my head for a moment and began to think and look inside. Although there were also external circumstances at the time that led to the desire to take a moment and think about myself, but the feeling that suddenly the spectrum expands beyond the therapeutic view of the family was very significant. It was made possible, in my opinion, thanks to a decrease in the levels of hormones responsible for the maternal approach. I left the law firm without a clear exit strategy beyond the need to be more free for my family, and the belief that I would surely return and integrate into business life with the basket of skills I had gained. Reality had a different plan. A ceramics “class” that I took to prepare dishes for serving the food I loved to prepare turned into a total romance and the realization that the material deserves to be my central axis. The opening of the studio near the house allowed me the flexibility I needed in those years to combine work and family.
When did you feel something change?
My hormonal entry into menopause was pretty easy. I enjoyed a regular cycle until the age of 56, and even when it stopped I did not suffer from extreme symptoms but from a creeping change of a change in physical energies. And yes, there is also good news: the migraines I suffered from until then simply disappeared, this is a dramatic and positive effect on the quality of life. Beyond all these, the most dramatic effect is the awareness of the concept of fatigue and the limitations of the body. If once I could plan every destination and task and know that I could trust my body to carry me, today it is no longer like that. The body has its own agenda and it requires consideration and modesty. I’m still working in turbo but the edges have narrowed. I no longer do high-intensity sports, I no longer get up at five and it’s hard for me to continue hanging out after an intense work day.
How are you with hormones?
Because of joint pains that came with the cessation of menstruation in combination with a family history on the subject, I am trying hormonal treatment which is not yet clear if it will be useful.
Common side effect: internal attention
The internal change is much more dramatic than the physical. In the process of years I came, I think, to pay almost full attention to myself and also to the courage to realize what I hear. This process, which started at the age of 45 with leaving the law practice and opening the studio near the house, took a step. I wanted to move forward, exhaust my new identity to the fullest and fulfill the dream in full. The opening of the studio in Jaffa is the fruit of this process. Today I know how to say that the process of change constitutes – to use a figurative language – also the completion of a process of leaving the patriarchy. I grew up with an authoritarian father. An amazing man and an exemplary patriarch. In my professional life I worked in male law firms and with business clients who also came from male worlds, and I wanted to succeed in their field. It had a price. Today, with the departure of this occupation and later also the separation from the studio next to the house in favor of an independent space with a stunning female team, and I no longer see the patriarchy through binoculars.
what are your days like
Working in the studio drains all of me. From preparing the tools through managing the team, the store, creating collaborations and initiating events to managing the blog and social networks. I work six days a week. Mornings are the slow part of the day. I try four times a week to combine phase-adjusted sports activities: pilates, swimming, walking and strength. More movement and less adrenaline. The morning hours are also the best hours for writing. Then I go to the studio in Jaffa. In the evening I return and fall. What’s more, I make sure to close the day with a glass of chilled white wine. maybe two.
How did the women in the family influence your growing up?
Besides the ability to listen to myself and the courage to act, I am also affected by a growing sense of panic. My mother died at the age of 57 after a battle with breast cancer. I am already older than her when she died. I was 26 when she got sick and 30 when she died. Beyond the tragedy of her death just at the point when she was starting to enjoy life after retiring after thirty years of teaching, her death denied us the possibility of a mother-daughter relationship with my mothers and her growing up. The lack of her as a figure in my adult life and in my children’s life is enormous. I think that his staying alive had a balancing effect on my successful race, and was also a support for me. Two influences that might have improved my coping with the challenge of combining career and family.
Something you learned that can improve the lives of all of us?
One of the advantages of this age or stage in our lives is the expansion of choices. The social dictates are more open. If before the path was, at least for me, very dictated (army, education, livelihood, motherhood), the moment comes when most of the tasks are behind you and you have more freedom of choice. There are those who want to slow down and those who want to speed up. There are those who would like to break out and those who would prefer to gather, and all choices are legitimate.
My tip is actually for younger women: Reach the age of freedom with a toolbox that will allow choice. This toolbox includes skills and knowledge as well as the power to make decisions and the ability to believe in yourself and your ability to implement the decisions.
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?Time Well-spent, that’s what it’s all about –
Yeah, I think so –
(An important dialogue in the second season of ‘The Bear’)
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At the beginning of the year, Irit invited me to do an event with her at the studio, and this song opened the playlist I made for this weekend:
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#step #Birn #municipality