2023-09-14 04:00:00
A traumatic event for the young girl, who struggles to recover from it: “I still remember the pajamas I wore that night… I have the same nightmare every night.” Still today, Mélissa can’t get this terrible scene out of her head. And it left him with after-effects: “I’ve attempted suicide, I’ve cut my veins several times, I’ve been on antidepressants for almost my whole life. For 18 years, we lived with that, and it was very hard. I always felt very bad, always felt like I wasn’t good enough, but I never talked about it”she explains.
“Sleeping with your grandfather isn’t normally a bad thing…”
For Julie, the facts happened in almost the same way, she tells us. But her grandfather will abuse her twice. The first touching took place when Julie, also aged 8-9, was sleeping at her grandfather’s house: “He told me that I would sleep with him. But there you go, sleeping with your grandfather isn’t something bad! Normally… He started to put his hand on me, then he went down into my panties . And he did the same with his mouth”, confides Julie, who was then paralyzed by what was happening to her.
The second time, the events happened at Julie’s parents’ house, while her grandfather was supposed to be watching her, she explains to us. Touching that was “shortened” by the arrival of Julie’s brother in the house: “He stopped immediately, but he told me that it was both of us’ little secrets, and that we shouldn’t say anything,” the young girl remembers.
Silence for 18 years, but psychologically broken
For several years, Mélissa and Julie kept this heavy burden to themselves, unable to talk about it. Until the day when tongues were loosened. “I have a little girl now, and I don’t want her to have a mother who is addicted to drugs. That’s what made me really talk about it, so that it stops”, Melissa tells us. An announcement that had difficulty getting through within the family: “At first, they didn’t believe me… The whole family said ‘but no, he’s not like that’. If Julie hadn’t spoken, I would have been the liar.” she laments.
It’s time for everyone to see their true colors
If for 18 years they kept silent, it was out of shame, they tell us: “We were humiliated… It’s the fear of how people will look at us and the shame too, even if we know that we shouldn’t be ashamed, deep down we’re still ashamed… And then, we say to ourselves ‘why us? Did we do something wrong?'”.
Today, Mélissa and Julie only want one thing: “Let him be punished”. This is why they took the step of filing a complaint at the end of June: “It’s time for everyone to see his true colors. Everyone says he’s a good guy, but he’s not at all! And for us, it will help us move forward, because psychologically, it’s not easy every day.”explains Julie.
“Judicial follow-up is zero”: without justice follow-up, victims feel abandoned
On June 28, the victims therefore went to the Binche police station. Mélissa and Julie are each interviewed in turn by police officers to recount the events they suffered when they were little. Julie’s sister filed a complaint at the La Louvière police station. Their three complaints are grouped together and sent to the Mons public prosecutor’s office.
If they felt listened to and supported during their testimony, they deplore a lack of follow-up of their case. Because three months later, they still have no news, they explain. “We are three known victims, and nothing is happening! He hasn’t even been interviewed, nothing is being done, and we have no news. The judicial follow-up is zero! They are not there to help them. victims, we have to treat ourselves… I tried to call them to find out a little, but apart from telling me to go see a psychologist… They don’t do anything”, deplores Mélissa.
Psychological follow-up for victims is free, and we didn’t get it
When they filed a complaint at the police station, they were offered psychological follow-up. Julie wanted to try, in order to be able to give in and try to rebuild herself. But the experience didn’t really help her, the young girl tells us: “I had a call but that’s all, and that’s not what makes… I thought that I would have been given an appointment, that I would have been there, and that I would have been ‘would have made other appointments afterwards. But not just a call to say ‘you have my number, if things aren’t going well you can call me’. I would have liked to be supervised.”
On Mélissa’s side, it’s the same story: “They called me twice, I told them that it wasn’t going well, that there was no follow-up and that I still had dark thoughts despite everything, and that things had to change otherwise there would be another drama! And apart from telling me to go see a psychologist or take antidepressants, they didn’t tell me anything and that’s not what’s going to help me!”she laments. “We would have liked to go there, have appointments, be able to see a psychologist there, because going to see a psychologist is very good, but it is still at our expense. Psychological follow-up at the victims, it’s free, and we didn’t get it!”
“Information secrecy” and minimal monitoring
So to try to understand how the procedure works in the event of a complaint for sexual violence, we met Me Marion De Nenteuil, lawyer at the Brussels bar in criminal law. She explains that once the complaint has been filed, the police will open a file which they will transmit to the competent public prosecutor’s office. Then, investigative duties will be carried out in order to further investigate the facts reported.
But if so little information is given to victims, it is because of “information secrecy”, explains Me Marion De Nenteuil. Minimal monitoring must still be ensured: “The information is secret, meaning that we cannot inform the victims directly of the various investigative duties that are ordered. But, in principle, in cases concerning sexual violence, we will seize the prosecution’s victim support service (SAPV), which will communicate information to the victim when a decision is taken on the outcome of a case, for example ‘dismissal of action’, or ‘decision to go to court’, etc. But apart from that, there is no information given to people who are going to file a complaint.”she explains.
Procedures which can therefore be frustrating for victims: “This secrecy of information is a bit of a wall behind which the prosecution will tend to take refuge when we go fishing for information. And if the victim is not assisted by a lawyer, and she waits a bit for someone to come back to her, she will have very little information about the developments in the procedure… And even when the victim is assisted by a lawyer, he will often be faced with refusal because the information is covered by secrecy. Sometimes, we ourselves as lawyers do not understand why people refuse to give us any information… We provide very minimal follow-up and it is not at all optimal for the people who file complaints.”believes Me De Nenteuil.
There is a big lack of information and monitoring
Victims can then legitimately feel abandoned, and have the feeling of not being a priority for justice, she explains. And even more so when the complaint is filed years after the facts, as in the case of Mélissa and Julie: “This makes the collection of evidence even more complex. There is less hope of having a file that will establish responsibility. And therefore, the victims will have the feeling that these cases are not the priority of the prosecution, which can be explained, but with this lack of follow-up of the people who have filed a complaint, we have the impression of being completely abandoned . Which is a feeling that is legitimate, and that I can find among some of my clients“.
For Me De Nenteuil, if there is a clear evolution in the care of victims of sexual violence thanks to Sexual violence treatment centers (CPVS) which allow psychosocial and medicolegal follow-up when the facts occurred immediately, there is however still a way to go in terms of follow-up and assistance to victims in a global manner: “There are still situations in which there is a big lack of information, a big lack of follow-up, and that remains frustrating for the people who file complaints.”
The work of grassroots associations and municipal victim support services: essential work
Victims can therefore quickly feel helpless in the face of the opacity of the judicial system. This is why there are local associations, but also municipal services which provide follow-up for the victim, both psychologically, socially and judicially. We met Sophie Dantoin, psychologist and head of Victim support center of the City of Charleroi.
In this center, any victim of criminal offenses can come and ask for help: “We offer socio-legal and psychological assistance in the short, medium or long term, depending on the request and the situation of the victim. We really adapt to each person to help them as best as possible.”explains the manager.
And among the victims who pass through the door of the center, many of them deplore a lack of follow-up of justice: “Unfortunately, this is something that we hear from our victims. It is true that justice is quite slow, there is judicial time which is not the same as ours, and the victims need to have answers quickly, and to have rapid judgments. But unfortunately, this is not the case. We must also be aware of the entire legal procedure, and it is true that the course of the complaint is often unknown to everyone, and takes time…”, explains Sophie Dantoin.
Generally speaking, if monitoring is so poorly carried out, it would be due to a lack of resources, points out the center manager: “In terms of helping victims, we are seriously lacking in resources, that’s for sure. Treatment can be very long and require a very significant investment. You should also know that the justice system lacks resources, both financial only at the staff level, which slows down all procedures.”
However, the proactivity of judicial bodies towards victims is the key to successful follow-up: “Numerous studies have shown: the proactivity of services towards the victim is essential. It is very difficult for a victim to take the first step, pick up the phone and say ‘I need help’. We have to be proactive.” she continues.
A victim support network exists
Despite poor follow-up by the justice system, there is a whole well-established victim support network in our country. Many municipal services, but also non-profit organizations, do incredible work to help victims. “There are front-line services for urgent situations, second-line services which provide care and support. There are also the specific reception services of the Houses of Justice which make the link between the legal world and the victims. There are also third-line services which aim for restorative justice, so when there are compensation conditions, or a victim of violence would like to recover their belongings for example”, explains Sophie Dantoin.
These services, often free, allow the victim to get back on their feet after a traumatic event: “The psychological follow-up is really adapted with staff trained in the management of different traumas. And it allows the victim to rebuild themselves despite the trauma experienced, and to express their emotions in relation to it”she finishes.
Where to find free help as a victim?
If, like Mélissa and Julie, you have suffered abuse and would like support, do not hesitate to contact one of these free services. The site victimes.be and that of victim support services list the different centers that exist by region. There is also one perspective et an interactive map.
For information, there is the SOS Viol hotline, available on 0800 98 100. Or online chats like Now I’m talking about it dedicated to children and adolescents, and that of SOS Viol.
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