Walk one step. And other. Well, that’s it: welcome to the cheapest apartment in all of Madrid. On Wednesday morning, an alert from Idealista appeared by surprise on the real estate portal: “Studio rental on Oviedo street. Eight square meters [seis, según el catastro]. 400 euros. Low interior without elevator. Cuatro Caminos neighborhood. There are mornings when one can live on the Idealista website, but not in the advertisement offered by the Idealista website. There is no other option but to click. Notice. Contemplate. Hallucinate. Of the 7,100 homes that the real estate portal now offers in the 131 neighborhoods of the capital of Spain, this is the most economical option. And the most expensive, if measured per square meter. And the smallest. It has its buts, come on.
To know more details about this advertisement, the telephone number of a user named Mariano is indicated. Mariano communicates all the time. Serve by WhatsApp:
—Hello, can we visit, please?
-Good afternoon. Today.
-What time?
Mariano then sends a short audio note: “Hello. Between five and seven I will be at the house. It is a month of deposit, a current month and an indefinite contract.” Mariano, perhaps because of his doubts, closes his message like this: “It is for one person only.” At five in the afternoon, there was already a couple waiting at the white portal of number 9 Oviedo Street in Madrid, a 15-minute walk from the Santiago Bernabéu stadium. The block where this studio is located has two floors, next to a public parking lot. The walls are bathed in pale pink. The couple who is impatiently awaiting Mariano’s arrival wants to immediately settle any type of debate about the visit:
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-Hello good. We have arrived first.
There is always someone who gets to any place first. A classic for everything and for those looking for an apartment, and even more so in Madrid, where demand is very high. Although the studio is very small, the couple explains that perhaps they could both live there. She, who is about 50 years old, says that she spends almost all day outside. He, in his 60s, says he is retired. “It is very difficult to find affordable housing in Madrid,” he says. “Everything is very expensive. In this ad I was very annoying until I found it [Mariano]”. The two live in a shared room in Canillejas – near the Atlético de Madrid stadium – for a similar price. “Being like this is complicated. Having the light on is a sin.” Suddenly, a black SUV appears at the door just after half past five. A middle-aged man with sunglasses rolls down the window:
—Are you coming through the floor? I park and show it.
It’s Mariano. He claims to be a friend of the owner, who is currently outside Spain. Mariano, of average height, corpulent, in jeans and sneakers, explains that, before entering, he has to pick up a cardboard box from the floor. It is not easy to leave an eight-square-meter house spotless. Five minutes later, he opens the door:
– Pass.
To access the house, you have to cross an interior patio where, according to the cadastre, there are up to 16 houses. Mariano explains that, except for one or two, almost all of them are tourist apartments. “The good part is that there’s not a lot of noise around here,” he says. In the patio, the neighbors have placed their clothesline. No one has hung up their clothes. There are no lights on either. Mariano asks the tenant couple if they both really want to live there, not as a sign of prohibition, but, rather, of hallucination. The couple, nervous and hesitant, says yes, of course, that they are aware that the advertisement is for one, but that she spends most of the day away from home. Mariano gives the approval:
-Passad. Pasad.
The couple enters the home at the same time. Mariano, in the patio, explains that he has received more than 40 calls about the apartment. He shows WhatsApp full of messages from unknown numbers. The first visitors leave after two minutes. “It’s very small,” she says. He does not speak. Mariano does not give up hope: “They already tell me.” Following.
The zulo is a small house that even has its own roof and is located at the back of the patio. When entering through the white door, you can only take two steps. One and two. Literally. The door also includes a window halfway up. The floor has white diamond tiles with blue circles. The white walls smell freshly painted. The sofa bed is from Ikea and is foldable. Mariano, from the patio, responds:
—It’s 90, huh?
Just in case, boast of having a certificate of occupancy. “You can register here.” The TV is about 20 inches. It is hanging at one end of the wall, right next to another window that will not measure more than 50 centimeters and that also overlooks the outside patio. At the top of the folding chair hangs a mini electric water heater and a mini heat pump.
The other wall has a white mini-desk that, just below, has a small refrigerator, more like a hotel minibar. On the desk is a two-burner induction hob: either you study or you cook. Or you leave. The shower tray is immediately after. “It measures 65 by 65 centimeters, we have adjusted it,” explains Mariano. No. There are no closets for clothes. Just two small, hanging pieces of furniture, and two side-by-side white bars with eight exposed wooden hangers. The microwave is right above the front door. This is the floor. No more no less. Mariano is very explicit when leaving:
—It has everything you can wear. It is to be and not to be.
—And the toilet?
—He’s out.
To access the toilet, you have to go out to the central patio again. Walk about 40 steps. The door is green and has a key. Mariano clarifies any type of doubt:
–It’s only for this floor.
As you leave through the community door, two other women wait at the door. Mariano asks:
-Are you coming to see the study?
-Yeah.
-Forward.
According to the cadastre, the apartment does not measure eight square meters, but six. Prison cells in Spain usually measure eight and, since 2010, the new ones have been 14. According to the latest urban planning plan for Madrid from 2023, a minimum home is considered one that has a dining room, kitchen, bedroom and bathroom and whose useful surface is greater than 40 square meters. Of the 7,100 rental apartments advertised on Idealista in Madrid, 668 measure less than 40. On Thursday, a 22 square meter apartment was advertised in the Chueca neighborhood for 1,485 euros.
The square meter of rent in the capital currently stands at 18.3 euros, 15% more than a year ago, with the Salamanca district being the most expensive, at 22.7 euros. That is, in this area a 60-meter apartment costs an average of 1,362 euros. And if it is 80, 1,816. In the case of the zulo that Mariano announces, the square meter skyrockets to 66.6 euros. It is the smallest and cheapest apartment in Madrid. And, at the same time, the most expensive.
“The problem with these apartments,” observes the spokesperson for the College of Architects of Madrid, Enrique Manzano, “is that they are considered homes because they already were before this new regulation. The old ones are governed by a decree of February 29, 1944. To this we must add a decree approved by the Community of Madrid in June 2018, which eliminated any regulation around these old homes. “One of the legislator’s possibilities,” explains the regulations, “would be to regulate the minimum habitability conditions required for homes. However, this option is ruled out after verifying that there is a sufficient legislative body in the urban planning and hygienic-sanitary order in everything related to building. For this reason, these homes have habitability certificates. And they are rented. And they sell. And they announce themselves.
In fact, the building in Mariano’s advertisement was built in 1930. It has 16 homes and 11 measure less than 25 meters. “The six,” says the spokesperson for the Madrid tenants union, Víctor Palomo, by phone, “shows us that we are in a housing emergency situation in Madrid. We see more and more ads like this. There are many pirates. “Urgent measures must be taken.”
An Idealista spokesperson explains that advertisers are solely responsible and that they are not obliged to verify the content posted by users. “In fact, it would be something unfeasible due to the magnitude. “We only act when there is effective evidence of illegality.” The ad disappeared Wednesday night.
On Thursday, at ten in the morning, Mariano answered the phone:
-Is it still available?
-No. It’s already rented.
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