Having a tendency to repeat the same love stories and the same failures can hide a misconception of control when choosing someone familiar. Questioning yourself and better understanding your mistakes allows you to learn to love differently.
Accept to face your mistakes
When you want to change your love pattern, often because of repetitive suffering, being aware of your mistakes is the inevitable first step. Among the most frequent, the attraction for a narcissistic pervert often echoes a past of violence or an investment that was too rapid from the start.
Then come the fear of abandonment often in connection with an emotional dependence, or a hyper-exigency which pushes to imagine a partner too ideal and therefore fictitious.
How can you detach yourself from your mistakes?
While realizing the pattern is the first step, choosing the opposite is not always the solution. To change, it is important to open up to other profiles of people, including when the physical attraction is not there to begin with.
Accepting to experiment and to multiply meetings with diverse people can help to better know what is good for you, while taking the time to discover what emerges from the relationship. Taking the time to get to know yourself and work on your own expectations avoids rushing into a new habitual pattern whose outcome is already known.
Find out more: “I stop toxic relationships: 21 days to create healthy and harmonious bonds” by Marion Blique, Eyrolles editions.