2023-07-16 10:46:37
My husband now accuses me of doing everything for the collapse of our family. Although I don’t do anything, my position was firm even before marriage and still hasn’t changed.
Why my husband decided that now I would sharply change my mind and change my position, I don’t know, I didn’t give him any reasons for this.
The problem is, I don’t want kids. This is my conscious choice, which I made at school. Not because I’m childfree or some ambitious youngster.
We just have a number of diseases in our family that are inherited. Diseases are very unpleasant, in order to live normally with them, you need to strictly adhere to the regimen and drink pills on an ongoing basis.
As a child, many things were forbidden to me, in general, I spent almost all my childhood in hospitals. Mom’s words that she had about the same thing did not comfort me.
During the period of growing up, when the body was rebuilding, I wanted to howl in pain, because the drugs did not work in the right way, for a long time they could not find a dosage that would treat one thing and not harm the other.
As a child, my parents spent a lot of money on me, for which I thank them, but I didn’t have a childhood as such. This, of course, is not their fault, but such a fact still exists.
Even at school, I decided for myself that I would not have children, and when I grew up, I went to the doctors and received an answer that it was very likely that I would betray the whole bouquet of my diseases to my children.
At this point, the issue of childbearing was closed for me, because even in a nightmare I did not want my children to experience the same things that I experienced in childhood.
And I didn’t have any burning desire to get pregnant and give birth. Mom kept saying that I would grow up, then it would appear, but I am already thirty, and there is still no desire.
My husband knows about my situation. He also saw my attacks, which I am now experiencing not as hard as before, but he was still scared.
I made my decision about children when we were just starting a romantic relationship, because I understand very well that children are a very serious issue.
My future husband then assured me that this was not a problem at all. He already has a child from his first marriage, so he takes my decision calmly.
This sound position pleased me, I allowed our relations to develop further. We dated for about a year and then decided to get married.
For four years they lived quietly, there were no loud quarrels and serious reasons for swearing, until the husband began to start a conversation that it would be nice to have one child after all.
– I think you’re overthinking. You live a normal life, albeit on drugs. And our child, even if suddenly the disease is transmitted to him, will also live normally.
It is easy for him to reason, he did not experience all this on himself. In addition, we discussed this topic even before the start of our family life. My position has not changed.
This is what I told my husband, which led to a series of scandals. He put pressure on the fact that he wants to raise his child, because because of the strained relationship with his ex, he missed a lot of his son’s life, so he wants to catch up.
On the one hand, I understand him, he wants his child, with whom he can see at any time. On the other hand, I warned him in advance that this would not happen.
– It’s because of your stupid position that we will get divorced! – Husband freaks out.
As if he didn’t know her before. Or did he hope that I would lose my head and condemn the child to suffering, because my husband wanted him to be born? A very selfish attitude.
Another mother-in-law joined in, who tells me that her husband was sick a lot in childhood, but all the same, his appearance was happiness for her.
These people cannot understand what I had to go through and still go through, they do not understand what the child will have to go through. And I can’t explain it, you have to feel it.
My husband is set to divorce, and I’m not going to keep him. He has the right to happiness, even if not with me. I am not going to bend under his desire, and then let him do as he sees fit.
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