2023-12-16 03:30:00
Birthdays should always be a reason for happiness, however, as life progresses, blowing out the candles can affect each person unequally. When they reach 40 or 50 years of age, many people question their future, both professional and personal. The dreaded midlife crisis particularly affects many couples.
Ronald Rogge, associate professor of psychology at the University of Rochester, has been researching the complex dynamics of romantic relationships and families for nearly three decades, looking for ways to help couples and strengthen their love.
His most successful project is a relationship app which was co-developed by Khadesha Okwudili. In one study, published in the Journal of Family Psychology, Rogge found that the overwhelming majority of study participants – 8 in 10 – reported better, healthier relationships after a month of using the app.
“Our main goal was to create an app that couples would intrinsically enjoy, that would grow in popularity naturally and therefore expand its reach organically,” says Rogge.
How did the idea come about
The idea came about when Khadesha Okwudili was diagnosed with a life-threatening cardiac arrhythmia disorder when she was just 23 years old. Several near-death experiences of hers inspired her to ask compromising questions of the people she loved, “because she wasn’t sure how long I would stay with them,” Okwudili recalls. “Over time, I realized that even though my health was deteriorating, my relationships began to thrive in ways they hadn’t before.”
Together with Rogge, he began developing and testing content for Agape, generating thousands of questions that would be relevant to a wide range of couples.
How does the app work?
Agapé sends registered couples a daily message, such as “What did your partner do last week that made you laugh?” or “Describe a time when you were grateful to have your partner by your side” or “If your partner had a theme song that played around them during the day, what would it be and why?” Or something more outlandish, like: “What unique skills would your partner bring to the table to survive a zombie apocalypse?”
Once you’ve both answered the question, you’ll be able to see each other’s answers, possibly sparking meaningful conversation, “improving awareness” and promoting “moments of connection,” says Rogge, who has piloted more than 4,000 questions in the last four years in marital and couples research over the last 40 years.
Positive results
For the recent pilot study, the researchers recruited 405 couples. The team, which has made the results of the study public in a statement, followed the participants for a month on the application.
80 percent of participants reported improved romantic relationships, including a decrease in perceived negative relationship qualities and an increase in relationship satisfaction and dedication.
70 percent saw improvements in their own well-being, such as greater vitality and better quality of life, while also seeing a notable drop in depressive symptoms.
Couples who completed more daily prompts made greater gains in relationship quality.
Although the current study focuses on romantic relationships, the app can also be used to help you feel close to friends or family. According to the team, the fundamental principles underlying pair bonding generalize to other types of close relationships. “Using the app with more people in your life is likely to have even greater individual benefits because we know that connecting with others is a fundamental psychological need,” he said. Rogge says.
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