2023-04-20 07:32:00
Some parents believe that by providing their child with a roof over their heads, good nutrition and conditions for learning and development, they have fully fulfilled their parental mission. But children need something more: it is care, attention, love and warmth. Not getting all this, they have many problems in adult life, writes the online edition Vospitaj.
A child needs emotional support, tenderness and love no less than food and good living conditions. He cannot exist and fully develop without spiritual contact and the realization that he is being taken care of. Therefore, parents should make every effort so that their children do not feel lonely and unloved.
Problems of an unloved child
children’s brain
In early childhood, accelerated dynamics of brain structures is observed. The age period up to 6-7 years is the time when complex neural connections are most quickly formed in the children’s brain.
The formation of neurons is approximately 80% completed by the age of 4. In other words, by the age of 4, the human brain is ready for 8/10 (almost completely). Experts say that human behavior is somewhere in 95% determined by the subconscious. When exactly does the “programming” of the human subconscious take place? Answer: from birth to 6 years of age.
The brain is responsible for everything (or almost everything) that we think, say and do. If a child at the start of life experiences a lack of tenderness, care, attention, this affects the development of his brain, and as a result, the structures responsible for children’s emotions remain incompletely developed.
There is a clear relationship between the factors affecting the development of the child’s brain and the characteristics of the character of an adult.
Thus, childhood shapes personality and behavioral patterns.
In this regard, the question arises: what features of behavior, character traits indicate that this person was not loved in childhood?
Here are 7 key features:
1. Failure to trust
It is important to have a positive environment in order to build trust in a child. And it is desirable that he be surrounded by more or less stable and balanced personalities. Scandals, increased tone and change of scenery are bad for instilling a sense of trust. The child should feel safe and have positive emotional nourishment from his close environment. It is primarily about the family.
If the child does not have a stable and favorable emotional climate, it will be difficult for him to trust anyone in his future life.
2. Low emotional intelligence
Children try to interpret their emotions mainly through words and gestures. Both the first and second are crucial in the development of children. Words and gestures have a serious function: they provide an opportunity to express feelings, regulate fear, be aware of negative emotions and develop resistance to any emotional pressure.
Without the abilities described above, a child cannot fully develop their emotional intelligence.
3. Fear of making mistakes
A child who grows up in an emotionally cold, indifferent environment will eventually develop difficulties with self-esteem. On the other hand, the inner environment, which motivates, cares in every possible way, contributes to the development of endurance and self-confidence.
If a person was not loved in childhood, most likely, he will begin to experience a lack of self-confidence. This is often expressed in the form of an excessive fear of making a mistake. Some successful individuals are not able to realize their full potential only because they received little love and affection from their parents in childhood.
4. Tendency to toxic relationships
The maturation of the brain goes through associations and pattern recognition. The sciences of psychology and cognitive neuroscience define pattern recognition as a cognitive process in which information received from the external world is compared with information received from memory.
It follows from this that if a child experienced a lack of love, tenderness and care, as an adult he will begin to strive for the usual model of relationships, in other words, for toxic personalities.
5. Feeling insecure and attached
There is an opinion that a positive environment outside the family is able to compensate for a negative family environment. In fact, everything is not so clear and rosy.
If a child does not have the opportunity to trust those who gave him life and must take care of him and be responsible for his safety, how can he learn to trust other people?
6. Tendency to depressive states
Unloved children in adulthood have mental health problems.
Depression and anxiety tend to develop from:
– emotional indifference in childhood.
– complications provoked by this indifference, arising in mature years.
Depression and anxiety are considered the most common mental problems in the world. And the risk of acquiring them as an adult increases if the family had problems with a lack of attention and warmth.
7. Too sensitive
We all suffer from this problem from time to time. But, if you learn not to take everything that someone says personally, it will help to understand people, their motives and actions.
But for a person who did not see enough love, affection and attention in childhood, it is quite difficult to follow this advice. Such people are oppressed by the fear of being rejected, and combined with self-doubt suggests that in their childhood they felt they were unnecessary and unloved by anyone.
Expert advice
Show love and affection to your children daily. There is not much love.
Praise your children often for any good deeds.
Keep a positive attitude and emotional maturity to create a healthy environment for your children.
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