Janita Engels, the partner of the late Dutch singer Ben Saunders, shared an emotional social media post on Sunday marking two months since his death, stating that she feels trapped in the past and does not know how to move forward.
Engels described how deeply their lives were intertwined, leaving her to manage daily life with what she described as a half brain and an empty heart.
Janita Engels Shares Emotional Message Two Months After Ben Saunders Died
- Janita Engels posted her emotional message on Instagram exactly two months after Ben Saunders died.
- She shared that she has not cooked in two months and feels trapped in the night of September 14 to 15.
- Saunders was found dead on September 15 after being reported missing and triggering a major police search.
Living in the Shadow of September
Engels opened up about her ongoing struggle on Instagram, noting that the reality of life without the singer remains overwhelming.
“Ik vind het veel… Ons leven was zo verweven dat het voelt alsof ik alles op een half brein en een leeg hart moet doen.”
she wrote on Sunday, as reported by myprivacy.dpgmedia.nl. She added that she feels completely trapped in the events of the night between September 14 and September 15.
Police launched a major search after Saunders was reported missing two months ago. His body was found on September 15, bringing a tragic end to the search effort.
“Paniek, zoeken, roepen, onrust, schreeuwen… waar ben je!”
The Loss of Daily Rhythms
Engels said that she has stopped cooking entirely over the past two months. She contrasted her current state with her usual habits of spending half the day in the kitchen in high spirits.
“Ik kook niet meer. Al twee maanden niet. Ik! Die normaal de helft van de dag in de keuken sta, in opperbeste stemming. Eten smaakt me niet meer. De glans is ervan af. Van voedsel, maar eigenlijk van alles. Done, klari.”
she wrote, as detailed by myprivacy.dpgmedia.nl.
| Event Detail | Recorded Information |
|---|---|
| Date of Discovery | September 15 |
| Milestone Marked | Two months since passing |
| Primary Source Location | Instagram statement by Janita Engels |
Facing an Uncertain Future
As the mother of 9-year-old Benji, Engels expressed deep uncertainty about how to handle the responsibilities ahead without her partner.
Ben was father of the 9-year-old Benji and bonus father for the 18-year-old daughter of Janita. Ben had also a daughter from a previous relationship.
“Ik kan het wel. Maar dan wel met jou… Dus hoe doe ik dit dan?”
