“I started working with my tennis coach Don Candy (91†) when I was nine years old,” Pam Shriver (59) told the Daily Telegraph. A collaboration that turns out to be devastating despite great success.
The Australian coach had led his athlete to the top of the world. At the age of 16, the American was already in the US Open final (1978). Shriver achieved her first Grand Slam victory in doubles three years later on the holy lawn in Wimbledon. At this point, Candy was already more than “just” her coach. “When I was 17, I told Candy, who was 50 at the time, that I fell in love with him,” says the 22-time Grand Slam winner in doubles.
The aftermath of the affair
Her affection was returned: ‘Yes, he and I engaged in a long and inappropriate affair. Yes, he cheated on his wife. But there was a lot about him that was honest and authentic. And I loved him.” Shriver has never been sexually abused, she says.
Nevertheless, she suffered serious consequences. “The relationship affected my ability to have normal relationships and set certain patterns that kept reappearing: my enduring attraction to older men and my difficulty understanding how to maintain healthy boundaries,” admits the ex-tennis player. The affair ended after five years.
“Education” as a solution?
Is your story an isolated case? Shriver doesn’t believe that: “I think that abusive coaching relationships are frighteningly common in sport as a whole,” she says, adding, “Every time I hear about a player dating her coach, or see how When a male physiotherapist works on a female body in a gym, alarm bells start ringing for me.”
How to counteract this? Shriver offers a solution: “I think it’s possible to educate young athletes, but you probably have to start before puberty: maybe eleven, twelve or thirteen. When they come on the big tennis tour, many patterns are already set.” The trainers also need to be trained, she is certain: “It must be said very clearly that these types of relationships are not appropriate and that those who cross this line must expect the consequences.” (nab)