“These girls, who grew up in these families, realized that a man is not indispensable in a family,” historian Maria Oinas explained during a recent broadcast on ETV+.
The fundamental motivations driving modern relationships are shifting away from financial stability and toward emotional security, according to Oinas. In a discussion on the program “Svoy Pravda” (Your Truth), the historian noted that women are increasingly viewing partnerships as opportunities for emotional support rather than as a means to ensure material well-being, rus.err.ee reported.
This evolution in domestic expectations isn’t a sudden whim but a long-term structural change rooted in history. Oinas pointed to the massive societal shifts caused by the two World Wars as the primary catalyst. These conflicts did more than just deplete the male population; they forced a mass entry of women into the labor market, granting them the autonomy to provide for themselves.
The historical shift toward female independence
As women gained the ability to sustain themselves economically, the “contract” of marriage underwent a transformation. The necessity of a male provider diminished, allowing women to raise their standards for what a partner should actually contribute to their lives. Instead of looking for a financial anchor, Oinas suggests they are now looking for a person who offers closeness and a sense of safety.
This movement toward non-traditional living arrangements has seen the rise of the “Boston marriage”—a term describing two women living together in a committed, supportive relationship without necessarily being romantically involved. While the term might sound modern, Oinas notes that the concept of female companionship for mutual support is far from new. Historical literary figures often depicted female companions living with wealthy widows, assisting with childcare and household management in bonds that blended material necessity with deep emotional ties.
In the current era, these arrangements serve practical, modern functions. For many women, a Boston marriage is a strategic way to share the heavy lifting of life: splitting household chores, dividing financial burdens, and co-parenting children, all while maintaining a “safe space” that traditional high-pressure romantic structures might not provide.
Challenging the traditional definition of family
The rise of these alternative models poses direct questions to long-standing social norms. The conversation surrounding these shifts moves beyond simple cohabitation to ask whether the very definition of “family” requires romance or a single roof.
The upcoming discussion on ETV+ aims to tackle these complexities head-on. The program, titled "Family Not by the Rules," will explore several provocative themes about modern domestic life, including:
- Whether spouses are strictly required to live under the same roof to maintain a marriage.
- The viability and social implications of families consisting of three partners.
- Whether romantic intimacy is a mandatory requirement for a group of people to be considered a family.
The program is hosted by Elena Solomina and is scheduled to air on Monday, November 9, at 20:30 on ETV+.
As society continues to move away from rigid, economically-driven marriage models, the focus appears to be settling on a new currency: the quality of the emotional environment. For the modern woman, the ability to stand alone has made the choice to stand with someone else a matter of heart and security, rather than survival.
