2023-04-20 14:05:22
Are you suffering from your breakup? But know that it is an experience that will help you grow, to get to know yourself better in order to move forward…The purpose of life on earth is to love and to be loved in return…
Breakups have all their reasons, but be careful when one or the other ex-partner contacts us again, what do we do?
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Let’s see here in this article what are the reasons for his comeback and how to deal with them by protecting your little hearts.
Breakup- Source: spm
The reasons are many and can also be vicious.
He comes back to me despite our breakup
- By regret.
- To awaken in you unhealthy feelings of jealousy if he is in a relationship again.
- To maintain a bond of friendship.
- Because he feels alone.
- To satisfy a physical need and become a sexual partner.
He wants to see me again
Ambiguous stories are never healthy and constructive to move forward, so be clear and don’t be afraid! Ask yourself the right questions.
Beyond your still existing feelings for this person, is your relationship worth saving?
What if it happens after several years?
It all depends on where you are in your new life.
Over time, each has grown, matured and worked on their weak points so the new story can have a happy ending this time around.
But the essential point before you start getting carried away, dear readers, is to know above all what was the reason for your separation?
What is the real problem that caused the breakup?
The American magazine Psychology Today gives us the answer through a study on a sample of people questioned on the main disagreements and arguments in a couple, likely to deteriorate the quality of their relationship.
No, it’s not just about sex, money or who’s going to take out the trash tonight, like in the movies!
30 came out, I give you the first 7:
- The lack of love and affection expressed.
- The lack of communication.
- Lack of daily attention.
- Not feeling appreciated.
- The lack of feelings.
- Jealousy.
And watch out, in 7th position, who are we here?
- Contact with an ex-girlfriend or ex-boyfriend…
A threesome is never good! Whether it’s with your ex or your mother-in-law…
In parallel, the American psychologist, professor emeritus of psychology at the University of Washington, John Gottman reveals to us the “four horsemen of the apocalypse” as they are called in scientific research which, once installed in a couple, would limit the chance of survival…
- Criticism (questioning everything permanently as well as the character of his partner).
- Contempt (adopt a behavior of superiority vis-à-vis his partner).
- The defensive (not taking responsibility).
- L’obstruction (refuse to engage when there are problems).
Now that you have seen the main reasons behind a breakup, you are now equipped to work on all these points and regain self-confidence. But, you also have to know how to react to avoid suffering again.
After a month, with or without a girlfriend
Several signals are to be discovered, but it is still difficult to know if they are without ulterior motive, if they are sincere and true,
Today with the Internet phenomenon where everyone is on file without any privacy, new technology makes things easier to keep ties but less so to cut them.
Yes of course, you can decide to block someone but it’s not always easy to keep a cool head.
This influence that we have or rather the influence that social networks have on our lives allows us to check if your ex, for example, continues to be interested in you by looking at your photos, stories on the web.
It’s up to you, either you keep the doors open after contact from him, but in this case I suggest you have emotional support or you make other decisions. It’s up to you to decide what actions you should take, depending on your circumstances.
He checks in on me: sends me messages and sometimes he asks me how I’m doing…
A little comment here, a little sentence there, an sms, a cute little message, an emotive icon to wish you a happy birthday, so many signs that only blur your feelings.
put a distance
This is my number 1 tip!
First, it will help you manage your urges.
You separated, yes it hurts but nothing better than taking some distance and cutting off all contact with him or her for several weeks and thinking about your well-being, it’s your number 1 priority. not be his plan b if that is his intention. Because it may be that the relationship fails again and he thinks that it no longer suits him and can focus on something else again.
Be strong and determined! The key to success is to take this step.
And then there is a good chance that the distance favors the lack.
If so, now is a good time to schedule an appointment by setting new goals.
I love you, neither do I – Source: spm
Why my ex contacts me then ignores me: after radio silence
After your ex’s radio silence, a very powerful technique that will protect you but also hurts: ignorance
You know the saying “ignorance is the best revenge”? Well it is now.
Opinions are mixed on this approach.
Alexandre Cormont, love coach n’1 in Francophonie tells you about it in his video.
Personally, I think you always have to give a reason for everything.
This allows you to really mourn and above all to move forward.
Perhaps you could put down on paper what you have in your heart?
You decide to give yourself another chance
If you want to fix things then give yourself the means to change what is wrong, if not, next!
Think back to the reason for your breakup, the initial point of not falling back into the toxic patterns of your first story.
Have fun doing a personality test together to get to know each other better.
You can also imagine the questions yourself.
There are many quizzes to discover about relationships and love.
Get help from someone else
To transcend this rupture and be able to move forward, it is best to get help if you cannot do it alone. Seeking professional support, such as a therapist or a coach, for example, is a first step towards healing. You must grieve in love, organize your life again and regain your self-confidence. Reconcile with your past and with yourself. Being accompanied by a professional must be complemented by a set of things like doing things that are good for you. Playing sports, rearranging your interior, living your passions….Concrete actions that allow you to rebuild yourself and have a positive image of yourself.
The secrets of a successful relationship
I too have been through sentimental storms and I have done research, read many books on the subject to help me see the good sides, to accept that not everything can happen according to my will.
Life as a couple is a lot of concessions without stopping giving, giving, giving. It evolves every day according to the experiences and the past of each one.
Learn to have a positive outlook on everything around you, believe me it changes everything! Starting with your spouse. Maintain a relationship of best friend, your spouse becomes your partner for life, you form a team! Do not let a day pass without communicating, on everything, on nothing. And finally, respect yourself as you are.
Read also: “My neighbor gets carried away when our washing machine runs at 9.30pm but I don’t see the problem.”
Love communication – Source : spm
Building a life as a couple until the end of life is something wonderful! Do not be discouraged at the slightest obstacle, romantic breakups are part of life. The most important thing is to respect yourself whatever the situation and not to lock yourself in suffering.
So if it’s not him or her, it means that another person is waiting for you elsewhere.
Read also: Why women are attracted to bald men
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