In her home in Haarlem, Jenn talks about the move and her surprises of the past nine months. That you can walk out of a hospital without having to pay, that you can’t just keep your children home from school for a day and that Christmas lasts two days, for example. She is occasionally supplemented by son Liam (8). Liam’s twin sister Maddie is also there, and dog Cloë. Michael and the other twins, 3-year-old Livvy and Emmy, are not home.
Two twins
“We sometimes get surprised reactions here,” says Jenn about the composition of her family. “I think four children is a big family here in Haarlem, most people have two. And when people discover that they are two twins, they are completely surprised. Twins are less common here than in the US, aren’t they? ? But I heard that there are more large families in the South and in the Bible Belt.”
It is characteristic of the family’s attempts to get to know the Netherlands: Jenn wants to know everything about the country and participate in all the traditions. They moved because they wanted adventure and a safer place to raise the children. “When we decided to come here, we decided we were going to go all in,” says Jenn. “That means participating in all the traditions and sending the children to Dutch schools. Many expats are here for two or three years and then go home again, but we have a visa for an indefinite period, so we don’t know if and when we will return.” go away.”
With the cargo bike
This means that in December both Christmas with ‘Santa Claus’ and Sinterklaas were celebrated – including (English) poems. That on New Year’s Eve they bought a deep fryer to fry oliebollen (“We really like those!”). And that a cargo bike has even been purchased and there are two children’s bicycles in the front garden with which Maddie and Liam cycle to school and friends.
“That is really unthinkable in Texas,” says Jenn. “The distances are greater there. You spend many hours a day in a car – to and from work, taking the children to school and picking them up, doing shopping – in the Netherlands we don’t even have a car.”
School shootings
“And it is not safe for children there. Many Dutch people do not realize how often school shootings occur in the US. Children are regularly given exercises so that they know what to do if someone starts shooting. And when I went to a store with them , then I was constantly counting to see if I had lost the children.”
“Here in Haarlem I am more relaxed. Although that took a while. The first months I was really a helicopter mother, like in the US. The fact that they went outside without me being able to see them: terrible! But now they have watches with which I can see where they are and call them, which is a nice compromise. They have the freedom and I can say, ‘Are you going to the park? Have fun!'”
Back to a few years ago: Jenn, Michael and their children lived in Prosper, a suburb of Dallas: big house, big garden and family and friends close by. But the will to emigrate was great. Michael was able to be transferred to Europe through his employer, an IT company. There were four places he could go: Paris and London were immediately excluded due to the crowds, so Germany and the Netherlands remained.
Spent a few hours in Haarlem
“The two of us spent a week here to see if it was something for us. Most of the time in Germany, and a day and a half in the Netherlands. We were in Haarlem for a few hours, and thought it was so beautiful. Everyone was also very friendly. We didn’t like Germany as much, few people speak English there and although we want to learn Dutch, it makes it easier to settle in here.”
During the Easter weekend of last year the time had come: the family flew to Schiphol with a dog and a lot of suitcases. “I’m really glad we did that in the spring,” Jenn says, looking back. “If we had moved in the winter, I would have been very sad, I’m afraid. The sun hardly shines and it is so cold! It rained a lot in the spring, but I think we have to get used to that in the Netherlands.” Although that also has an advantage, son Liam adds: “The plants are much greener here. In Texas they are all dry.”
Amazement upon amazement
Since then, one surprise has followed another. Like about Dutch directness. “If you ask someone in Texas how they are doing, the standard response is ‘good’. Here they say: ‘Not so good today’, or ‘busy’.” Laughing: “That takes some getting used to. Although I also find it refreshing. At least it’s honest.”
And shortly after they moved here: “All bags on flagpoles. What was that? I heard later that it’s a kind of celebration when children have passed a test or something? Final exams? So much fun!”
Another: that you cannot simply keep children away from school. “In Texas I homeschooled Liam and Maddie. That started during Covid, Livvy and Emmy were just born and premature, so we didn’t want to take any risks. But it worked out well. Here homeschooling is really very difficult. Liam and Maddie go to a school where they learn Dutch, and then go to a regular Dutch primary school. We all like that very much, they pick up Dutch very quickly and they have friends.”
But a day trip they took with the family to Cologne – to the surprise of the Dutch part of her 74.000 Instagramvolgers: You wouldn’t go back and forth from Haarlem to Cologne in one day for a Christmas market, would you? – got an annoying tail.
Warning from school
“I didn’t know that it is a problem here if you don’t let your children go to school for a day. In the US, for example, it is very normal to go on holiday with the children during school hours, the school does not need to know that. Then We wanted to drive back from Cologne, the trains were not running. So we stayed there.” Embarrassed: “I didn’t even think to call Maddie and Liam’s school.” Luckily for them, the family got away with a warning and a promise that they would never do this again.
“A friend explained that schools have a shared responsibility. Most children cycle to school here and then it is of course nice if the school calls if they have not arrived – I hope that would also happen with my children. But I had never thought about it. Fortunately it remained a warning.”
The best thing about the Netherlands? Jenn can’t choose. She loves cycling. “The freedom that we can cycle into the city with the children or go to school. I think it is also very healthy, both physically and mentally. In the US, children learn to cycle, but they stop as soon as they can drive a car. Here I see elderly people cycling through the city. So much fun! Then I think: if you can do that, then I should be able to do that too. Although my friends think it’s bizarre that I put four children in the cargo bike – without helmets.”
Leave the hospital without paying
What about healthcare? Daughter Emmy fell out of bed at night this summer. Not from high, but unhappy. “She broke her collarbone and I took her to the hospital. A sweet neighbor took us and waited until we could go home again. When we walked away I asked where I had to pay. That was not necessary! “That will be arranged automatically,” said my neighbor. In the US, almost everyone has outstanding medical bills.”
And then there is family life, which is different in the Netherlands than in the US. “When I walk down the street in the evening, I see families sitting at the table in all the houses to eat. In America, life is much more hurried: after school, children have to go to sports, music, a moment to all sit at the table together. There is no food. Here you see families with children of all ages doing that. I like that so much!”
That food is quite something. In the first few months they often ate out here too. “Our taste buds still had to get used to Dutch food and it felt like home to us to know a good hamburger joint and a good breakfast restaurant. But I think there are almost no drive-throughs in the Netherlands, and eating out is very expensive here. “
Better mayonnaise than ketchup
“We now know what food to buy at the supermarket and how to prepare it. We want to try a lot. My husband, Liam and a few of the girls have even gone from ketchup eaters to mayonnaise eaters – little dutchiesI call them.” Laughing: “But I draw the line at a frikandel. I heard what’s in there.”
Of course, not everything is fun about life 5,000 miles away. They miss their family and friends. Her parents-in-law have already been here, but her own mother and sisters have not yet. Her father died suddenly just before they emigrated, which makes the loss even greater.
“In the US I saw my parents and in-laws at least once a week, and if we needed a babysitter for the children, they were there too. I really hope that my mother and sisters will come here again, but that’s “It’s not easy. It’s a long journey and you have to have enough time off to make it worth it.”
Convenience of major stores
And what else does she miss? The convenience of large stores such as Walmart. “In the US you can just jump in the car and go to a store where you can buy everything you need. When we moved here I looked for a place where I could buy plates and bowls. I couldn’t find them, So we bought as much as possible via Amazon. Only later did I get to know stores like HEMA and Action.”
In a few months the family will move from the rental house in Haarlem to a private house in Hilversum. Maddie and Liam will then go to a Dutch primary school and Emmy and Livvy will also go there when they are old enough. There are no plans to return to America for the time being. “Never say never,” says Jenn. “But for now, we plan to raise our children here.”
Liam: “I don’t want to go back, I like it here too much. Here I can play outside and cycle everywhere.”
Maddie: “I don’t want to go back either.”
Jenn: “Ideally, they would like their family and friends from the US to move here. That would be the ideal situation, right guys?”
Liam and Maddie: “And!”
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