2023-10-18 02:04:58
I was touched by the words said by the lady who signed this morning “A Latina yet integrated”. This woman, who has just been diagnosed with cancer by her doctor, feels enormous pressure from her ex-husband, father of her two daughters, who is incapable of hearing about this illness that affects her, because it makes him anxious. As she has few friends other than her work colleagues to whom she cannot talk about her illness, she finds herself alone ruminating over her anxieties and fears.
Faced with such a sad situation, I would like to suggest to him a reading that I myself had done at least ten years ago, at a time when I had no one around me who suffered from ‘cancer. It was the title of the book that caught my attention “Love, Medicine and Miracles” written by Dr. Bernie Siegel who had been a hospital surgeon, teaching at Yale University and also one of the main defenders of alternative medicine as well as the rights of patients.
It was when my husband himself was diagnosed with incurable mesothelioma that this reading bore fruit. Thanks to this, I was able to accompany him in love and respect until his last day, until his last breath. I would never have wanted to be anywhere other than by his side during this final and difficult passage in his life.
The role of caregiver is certainly exhausting, especially towards the end. But thanks to the philosophy of Dr Siegel, we were able to experience this ordeal with both feet on the ground, with a calm heart, and in a beautiful bond. If the husband of this woman doubly harmed by silence and fear does not read this book to help his ex, he should at least do so for their two daughters who have the right to be equipped good to go through this ordeal in the company of their mother.
I find it too easy to close our eyes and our hearts when suffering strikes a loved one, under the pretext that we are not capable of coping with it. I also wish this woman to organize herself to meet generous people capable of softening her totally legitimate emotional upheavals.
Nicole Bélisle
Let’s hope that this woman reads you, but above all that she makes the decision for herself to stop holding on to her pain and fear, by allowing herself to reach out to others to seek love, understanding and comfort.
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#Consequences #cancer