For me, this situation is already beyond the bounds of adequacy, because you can’t react so sharply to a person who wanted to please your child with a gift. I would understand if I brought a chocolate bar or other forbidden foods to someone else’s allergic child and gave it without the permission of the parents.
But I gave the kid the usual set of felt-tip pens and coloring. And Vera scolded me as if I wished evil on their family! This paranoia in my friend began during pregnancy.
We then began to quarrel over every little thing. Either nails and hair could not be painted with her, then you can only walk in the open air. In the cafe, whether it was raining or cold, we had to sit in an open area, because Vera was always hot and stuffy.
In this case, her brain was affected by hormones and all that: I understand her and do not blame her. I just really waited and believed that her mood swings would end after the birth of the child. But no, during pregnancy there was only the beginning.
Firstly, we began to see her less often, because “the child is small and it was impossible to receive guests.” As a friend explained, each person has his own bacteria and viruses, and I can bring an infection to her son, from which he will be treated for a long and hard time.
Okay, I got that too. She invited her to neutral territory – to the park, cinema, entertainment centers. Here, too, there was a hard refusal – the little ones really need their mother’s attention, which no one can replace.
Vera was also a fan of breastfeeding. As I know, children need to be fed by the hour so that their tummy does not hurt. But she read somewhere that for the formation of the health of the child, it must be applied to the breast on demand.
In other words, her son could eat 20 times a day. She even took a special cape in public places and fed her son in front of everyone. For me, this is wild and incomprehensible. A month ago, Vera gave me access to her house. Her son just turned one year old, he is no longer afraid of foreign bacteria, so I came to visit them.
I cannot say that I was welcome in their house. There were eternal requests “don’t sit here”, “don’t take it.” Vera herself was somehow nervous and frightened her son with this. He cried at any remark from his mother and attracted her attention to himself.
I may not know how I would act with my child in practice. But it is obvious to me that the child lacks communication with other people. He is very attached to his mother and afraid of me. As explained by a friend, he treats all guests this way.
Well, if she isolated her son from society, it is clear that he will be afraid of all strangers. He is still small and does not know how and with whom he can communicate, and his mother is not something that does not teach and does not introduce into the social environment, she in every possible way hinders his social development.
Interestingly, Vera set all the dogs on me because I brought felt-tip pens and coloring books to her baby as a gift. For me, this is the most harmless, but interesting set for a one-year-old.
These are not harmful sweets, from which a friend protects her son in every possible way. These are not soft toys – I was informed before arrival that I would not even spend my money on these colored “dust collectors” and “breeding grounds of bacteria.”
Felt-tip pens, because these are not even pencils, if the question arose about the safety of the little man. But even here I did not please Vera! It turns out that she got information somewhere that felt-tip pens can cause allergies if a child drags them into his mouth or paints his body.
Well, you’re a mother, you’ll be there when your child starts playing with felt-tip pens! Listen to her, so the child can’t take anything in his hands at all. And get out of the house – even more so!
He will also put sand, toys, molds, balls into his mouth on the playground. Anything! Perhaps it was a secret for Vera, but I nevertheless revealed it: we all licked swings in childhood, ate sand, gnawed pencils and felt-tip pens. And nothing – alive and well.
Children learn about the world through everyday objects. And in the beginning, this acquaintance occurs with the help of the mouth. I believe that it is a sin to take away this stage of development from a little man.
But instead of gratitude for the gift, which the boy was very happy about, I received only claims and reproaches from my friend. Now, when I call her and invite her to take a walk, she is always busy. And she won’t call me for a visit in the next 2-3 years until her son grows up.
I did everything I could to keep our friendship. Probably, for me, this person is already lost once and for all.
In the section “Opinion of readers” materials from readers are published.