2023-04-19 13:12:49
“Since I was young, I have felt different. I was rejected by my classmates at school, and my ears were stabbed with daggers of deadly words. Despite this, I thought that it would end when I got older, but on the contrary, the difficulties increased, all because of no fault I committed, but only because I was born with a congenital deformity.” They are cracks in the lip, palate and nose.” With these words, Samira Salman, the daughter of Al-Dunniyeh in northern Lebanon, began telling her story and her suffering from bullying and rejection from her community.
“Psychological pain is fatal. Every day I am unable to sleep on my pillow before it becomes wet with my tears. Every look of pity or wonder and every rejection and bullying I face during the day attacks me again at night. Then those who stabbed me with the daggers of their words, intentionally or without it, fall into their slumber, unaware of the extent of the pain.” And the oppression they caused me.” For all of this, as Samira tells Al-Hurra, I hated the mirror, taking pictures, going out of the house, and seeing people.
The 22-year-old underwent two surgeries at the age of three months, which were unsuccessful, and when she reached the age of six months, she underwent an additional operation, to be repeated after a year and a half, and despite that, her external appearance did not improve much, according to her saying, “That is why I suffered while I was in school from being called by my classmates.” I felt ugly, and prevented me from playing with them. I used to go to school with heavy steps and chokes that almost suffocated me, and despite all the sorrow, I tried to resist my weakness, and I hope to prove to the world that the difference is in thought and not in form.
A glimmer of hope lit up Samira’s life when, at the age of eight, she underwent a new surgery that succeeded in reducing the deformities without eliminating them completely, and without being able to put an end to the bullying that continued to pursue her whenever she left her home, and indicates that the greatest difficulty she faced It was when she obtained a nursing certificate from one of the institutes in the north, and she started looking for a job, that her “distortion” stood in the way between her and her dream. Even “the hospitals that gave me the opportunity to do training with them forced me to wear a muzzle.”
“We do not want a patient, but a nurse. We apologize that the patient will be afraid of you.” Among the phrases that Samira heard when she decided to work as a private nurse, she added, “I always hear that people like me cannot do anything, and that I will not reach where I want and I will not be able to Being associated with a life partner, as no man is willing to spend his time with me, which means that I am stripped of my rights as a woman, just because I do not follow the standards of beauty set by society.
Material obstacle.. but
Poverty is the main obstacle that prevents Samira from getting out of the dark furnace in which she lives, and she says, “We all know the extent of progress that plastic surgery has reached, but where do I and my father, who works as an actor, get thousands of dollars for the cost of two plastic surgeries, the first for my nose that needs a transplant Cartilage in front of it, and a second for my upper lip and the area above it after the skin was accumulated in the wrong way as a result of previous operations, so that I could live like the rest of the people.”
In 2016, then-Minister of Health Wael Abu Faour launched an awareness campaign on cleft lip and cleft palate, stressing that treating it is not a cosmetic issue, but rather a medical issue, and that infection rates are high in Lebanon, as “according to 2013 statistics, we have one case for every 440 cases, that is, About more than two in a thousand, which equates to about 197 cases a year.
The plastic surgery specialist and founder and president of the Global Smile Foundation, Dr. Osama Hamdan, defines the case of cleft lip and cleft palate as “an opening in the lip and/or throat, which may also extend to the nose, and it can be on either side, on both sides, or in the middle, It is a condition that occurs early in pregnancy as a result of the facial structure not fully fusion.
Many parents are shocked when their children are born with this condition, as Hamdan told Al-Hurra website, “as a result of the scarcity of the necessary prenatal examination, especially in rural communities,” noting that this condition is one of the most common birth defects in the world. It affects 1 out of every 700 live births.As for the exact cause, it is not known, although researchers have identified several factors behind its infection, including genetic and environmental ones, such as the mother’s smoking, drug and alcohol abuse, illness, or folic acid deficiency during pregnancy. .
Children born with this condition face a difficult path physically and psychologically, and Hamdan explains, “The crack may affect their food, hearing, speaking, and breathing, which prevents them from integrating into their societies, obtaining education, and finding work. Their family may also be rejected, and in some rural communities they are considered a curse, so they may be abandoned by their parents and even by their mothers, all of which raise the possibility of them developing anxiety, depression and low self-esteem.”
In 2008, Hamdan founded the association in the United States of America to draw a beautiful smile on the faces of all children who suffer from this condition, and in 2014 the specialized medical team took the same step in the Middle East, stressing: “For 36 years, the founding members of the association have been engaging in awareness programs On this case, knowing that the operations we are conducting are free for all those in need.”
The association is considered the largest contributor to cleft lip and throat operations in Lebanon and Ecuador, as it provides humanitarian care to more than 50 percent of patients. Hamdan says, “Last week we were in Beirut, where we performed 42 surgeries, and after surgery, children often need speech therapy and orthodontics.” and psychosocial support.”
And about the number of surgeries that a child with this condition needs, he replied, “It depends on his condition. If he suffers from a partial cleft in the lip, he will need one surgery, but if he has two incisions in the lip and others in the throat, then he needs between four to five.” Operations he undergoes over the years until the age of 15 to 18 years, in order to reach the result we prefer.
waiting for “transit”
Bullying is an aggressive behavior practiced, as psychologist Haifa Al-Sayed explains to Al-Hurra, “an individual or a group of individuals against another person in a deliberate and repeated manner, with the intent to abuse, control, threaten, and attack him physically, verbally, socially, or materially, as this results in a group Among the negative psychological effects on the health of the victim, which continues until advanced stages of life, including self-contempt, fear, insecurity, anxiety, depression, despair, isolation, suffering from neurological disorders, anorexia, low level of physical energy, decline in academic achievement, and avoidance of participation in any social activity.
Society should not help bullying anyone, including those with deformities, disabilities or special needs, says university professor and social researcher, Professor Wadih al-Amouni, pointing out that “bullying is unacceptable and immoral behavior that can cause negative psychological and physical effects on Individuals subjected to it, however, bullying may occur in society due to ignorance, fear, or a negative view towards any of these.”
Several factors lead to bullying, including, as Al-Amouni explains to Al-Hurra, “ignorance and lack of awareness that cause individuals to not understand the difficulties faced by people with deformities, disabilities or special needs and their challenges in life, and thus tend to bully them, secondly, social pressure, as it can That bullying occurs on these people because of the social pressure that individuals suffer from, and they consider them an easy target to dump their negative feelings.”
Among the factors that lead to bullying, according to Al-Amyoni, is “fear and personal insecurity of being harmed or injured if dealing with different people. Bullying can also occur because of exclusivity and the desire to stand out and show strength and superiority. In general, bullying can happen because of a lack of understanding. Individuals with difficulties, deformities, disabilities, needs and challenges, or because of social pressure, fear and insecurity, or because of the desire for uniqueness and excellence.
As for Haifa, she considers that the causes of bullying are learned, “returning to the wrong parenting methods that give the child a sense of strength with a lack of empathy for others, or it may be the result of quarrels, domestic violence, neglect, and even the result of violent electronic games,” pointing out that some victims of bullying resort to harming themselves and even thinking Suicide, especially during adolescence, in order to overcome the negative feelings resulting from their suffering.
Adhering to preventive methods requires, according to Haifa, “to teach and educate the child early on good social behaviors and to avoid actions that may harm others. The family of the victim of bullying must give him a sense of security and work to raise his self-confidence and self-esteem, while denying all lies that contradict his true personality and highlighting his strengths and creativity.” .
In the event that the parents’ efforts to get their child out of the furnace of bullying fail, they should, as the psychologist emphasizes, “take him to a psychiatrist to prescribe the appropriate drug treatment for him in conjunction with psychological treatment. In addition to the importance of exercising to enhance his self-esteem and self-confidence in the future.
For her part, Al-Amyuni stresses the need for society to work to create a civil environment that encourages respect, tolerance, and peaceful coexistence among all its members, without resorting to bullying, violence, or discrimination in any form, and “this is through education and raising awareness of the importance of respecting the rights of all members of society.” The community, including individuals with deformities, disabilities or special needs, and the community can also help support them by providing appropriate resources and providing equal opportunities to participate in society and benefit from the services and opportunities available to all.
Had it not been for the support of Samira’s parents and her two sisters, and her attempt to overlook as much as possible the bullying and rejection she faces daily, she would have, as she says, “put an end to my life.” She stresses, “I thank God that all moments of weakness did not make me lose my faith in Him and His generosity, and that one day He will put an end to the nightmare that I am living through at the hands of a philanthropist.” It takes me from the brink of pain to the brink of hope.”
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