The “Princess Treatment” Trend: A Warning Sign for Modern Relationships?
Twenty-nine percent of married women now earn as much as their husbands, and 16% are the primary breadwinners. Yet, a TikTok trend involving water hoses and increasingly rigid relationship “tests” suggests a surprising undercurrent: a yearning for traditional, financially-dependent dynamics. This isn’t just harmless fun; it’s a symptom of deeper anxieties about modern relationships, gender roles, and the often-toxic advice dominating online dating culture.
From Water Hoses to “Princess Signaling”
The viral trend started innocently enough. Women listed errands and gestures, challenging partners to categorize them as “princess treatment” or “bare minimum.” Incorrect guesses resulted in a face full of water. While initially playful, the underlying premise – that any favor, no matter how arbitrary, should be considered a baseline expectation – quickly raised eyebrows. Influencers like Courtney Palmer, who openly embraces a “housewife princess” lifestyle, further fueled the fire, detailing expectations like never opening doors or ordering her own food. This sparked both fascination and backlash, but the concept proved undeniably sticky.
The Rise of High-Maintenance Dating Advice
Palmer isn’t an outlier. TikTok is awash in advice encouraging women to adopt a high-maintenance approach to dating. The “Princess Signaling Game,” as dubbed by Cartoon Hate Her, involves broadcasting strict, often unreasonable standards for potential partners – like dismissing anyone who doesn’t confirm a date by 2 pm. This isn’t about healthy boundaries; it’s about creating a series of tests designed for failure. It’s a shift away from mutual connection and towards a process of elimination based on superficial preferences.
The Dark Side of “Empowerment”
Beneath the surface of empowerment lies a troubling trend. Much of this advice, while framed as self-love and setting standards, subtly reinforces traditional gender norms. Influencers like Sheraseven openly advocate for a “gold digger” mentality, positioning men solely as providers and women as recipients. Russell Hartley similarly champions financially-driven expectations. This isn’t new; it echoes the “trad wife” movement, exemplified by figures like Sprinkle of Jesus founder Dana Chanel, who promote submission and acceptance of mistreatment. These ideologies, often cloaked in religious or self-help language, are gaining traction online.
The Manosphere’s Counter-Narrative
This trend isn’t happening in a vacuum. Simultaneously, the “manosphere” is promoting its own set of rigid expectations. Relationship scientist Rachel Vanderbilt explains that this ecosystem focuses on the “high-value man” attracting a “high-value woman” – a woman with a limited sexual history and a nurturing disposition. This creates a dangerous feedback loop, where both genders are presented with unrealistic and often harmful ideals. Men are told how to *earn* a woman’s affection, while women are led to believe they deserve a partner who constantly proves his worth.
A Reaction to Past Trauma?
Clinical psychologist Alexandra Solomon suggests the “princess treatment” trend may be a reaction to past experiences. “A lot of women are looking at patterns in their families where they’ve seen women mistreated or rendered invisible,” she explains. This desire for extreme doting could be a 180-degree turn from those experiences, a desperate attempt to feel cherished and protected. However, Solomon cautions that this is an attempt to cling to traditional gender roles in a world where economic realities have fundamentally shifted.
The Paradox of Power and Dependence
The core issue is the illusion of power. “Princess treatment” *feels* empowering, but it’s ultimately rooted in financial and emotional dependence. It’s a theoretical power dynamic that doesn’t translate into real-world agency. As Solomon points out, the comfort derived from these gestures isn’t economically costly for the provider, but it creates a system where a woman’s worth is tied to a man’s ability to fulfill her desires. This reinforces a passive role, hindering genuine equality and partnership.
What’s Next? The Future of Relationship Expectations
The “princess treatment” trend is unlikely to disappear overnight, but its longevity hinges on a crucial factor: economic realities. As more women achieve financial independence, the appeal of traditional dependence will likely wane. However, the underlying anxieties about vulnerability, trust, and the fear of being undervalued will remain. We can expect to see a continued fragmentation of relationship expectations, with increasingly polarized views on gender roles and financial dynamics. The rise of AI companions and virtual relationships may also further complicate the landscape, offering a controlled environment where expectations can be perfectly tailored – but at the cost of genuine human connection. Pew Research Center data highlights the ongoing evolution of financial roles in marriage, suggesting a continued negotiation of power dynamics.
What are your predictions for the future of dating and relationships in the age of TikTok? Share your thoughts in the comments below!
