Slate advice columnist Dear Prudence recently tackled a difficult dilemma involving a boyfriend named Jake who gifted ruby earrings to a partner whose ears are not pierced, and who has a tendency to develop keloid scars. The recipient offered to turn them into a necklace, but Jake pushed for piercings.
The Conflict Over Ruby Earrings and Keloid Risks
According to Slate, a reader writing under the pseudonym Exorcised Over Earrings
received a pair of ruby earrings from her boyfriend, “Jake,” for her birthday three weeks ago. While describing the jewelry as gorgeous, the recipient noted that her ears are not pierced and that she has a tendency toward developing keloid scars. Piercings can trigger these scars, leading to keloided-up earlobes. When the recipient suggested having the earrings made into a necklace—an idea she preferred—Jake acted offended, turning the gift into a sore point by insisting she have her ears pierced anyway.
Advice Column Response and Relationship Red Flags
Responding to the submission, the Dear Prudence column characterized Jake’s behavior as lacking care for his partner’s physical wellbeing. Assuming the recipient explained the keloid situation, pushing for body modifications that risk scarring and sulking over a reasonable compromise was labeled as jerk behavior. The advice suggested that if the recipient has not explained her hesitation, the underlying dynamic remains troubling, pointing to a disregard for her health and bodily autonomy.
Other Dilemmas Addressed in the Column
The same Slate advice column also explored two other relationship situations. One involved a 65-year-old dog owner facing a future dilemma regarding her trusted dog sitters of over 20 years, who are about 10 years older and dealing with age-related health issues and dependability concerns. Another question focused on a difficult sister-in-law named “Sasha,” whose intense anxiety creates tension during family gatherings hosted by the writer’s brother.
