2023-10-16 10:03:00
A smile which, however, played tricks on him, that day in 2018. “Because I was smiling, while I was bedridden and writhing in pain because my stomach hurt so much, the paramedics didn’t let me not taken seriously, she remembers, choking back a tear, before apologizing and composing herself. They told me that you don’t call an ambulance for a simple stomach ache, that there were more serious cases and they left without taking me. The same day, I went to the emergency room on my own.” Later in the morning, a CT scan was performed. A mass was discovered on him. The emergency intervention is carried out the same evening. What emerges is not one, but two masses – one of 500 g and the other of 400 g – lodged in the abdomen.
A week later, it’s the Pet scan. In the meantime, the biopsy will reveal that these are malignant tumors. “I remember the announcement of the diagnosis very well. It was September 6, 2018. Two oncologists showed up. I felt the bad news coming. And in fact, they told me that the cells found in my abdomen were malignant. Since I kept smiling, the doctors thought I was in denial. In fact, I wanted to reassure my mother and encourage her. I told her: don’t worry mom, don’t worry, I’ll fight, I’ll get through this”. Promise kept.
Sabrina, in the apartment where she lives with her mother. ©Jean Luc Flemal
A long story
In reality, it all started many years earlier. Already in 2013, the then 14-year-old girl complained of feeling a mass in her stomach. “It was indescribable. I felt like I was pregnant and had constant contractions. The doctors told me it was probably psychological.” But the permanent pain only increased until 2018. “I really felt death coming,” Sabrina told us, who decided at the time to consult another specialist. He makes a diagnosis which turns out to be incorrect: bicornuate uterus, (a malformation which is characterized by the presence of two uterine horns and two cervixes). “In reality, it was the mass compressing my uterus. So you always have to listen to your body and the signs it sends.”
The correct diagnosis was finally made: stage 4 embryonal rhabdomyosarcoma (rare and aggressive cancer, which begins in muscle cells), which at the time made Sabrina the first 19-year-old patient in Belgium to suffer from this disease. The student had just completed her baccalaureate when the cancer diagnosis was made.
The surgical procedure precedes heavy chemotherapy, the first session of which is scheduled for his 20th birthday. “In intensive care,” she told us, “because, as the sessions were very heavy (8 hours, three days in a row every three weeks for 4 months), and as the tumor had grown back 17 cm in three weeks, the doctor didn’t want to take any risks without knowing how I was going to react. I suffered four pages of side effects from chemo: nausea, vomiting, weight loss (22 kg in 6 weeks), grade C esophagitis, grade 4 anemia… I told myself that, my gift of birthday, I will have it later: it will be my life”.
Sabrina always smiling. ©Jean Luc Flemal
But the obstacles to overcome keep coming. The chemo did not make it possible to make the entire tumor disappear, Sabrina returned to the pool in January 2019 for a 9-hour procedure. More precisely for debulking, that is to say an intervention which serves to reduce the tumor mass as much as possible. The story does not end there… “As I had metastases, I had to undergo a total hysterectomy (removal of the uterus)”, continues Sabrina, who had to mourn her dearest wish : a child.
The origin of his ills finally revealed
On February 5, 2019, the oncologist revealed the results of the biopsy to him: an immature teratoma (ovarian cancer), which had not been diagnosed until then. “It’s actually as if I had wrapped in my womb a twin embryo that never developed,” describes Sabrina, with supporting gestures. Normally, a teratoma is benign. Unfortunately, in my case, it turned into a sarcoma. Which is even rarer.” So here it is finally revealed, the origin of all his ills, which had nothing “psychological”.
So many interventions which, in August 2023, require another operation due to an “incisional hernia”. “I have had so many operations,” she explains to us, “that my organs are failing little by little. So I have repeated hernias that had to be operated on. Unfortunately, my wound became infected and I developed septicemia”. Clearly, nothing will be spared…
Remission? An empty word, in my opinion
“My remission was declared on November 26, 2019,” Sabrina tells us, however, very soberly. What does this mean for her today? “At the beginning, my oncologist told me: You are no longer considered a sick person. But these days, I don’t like to use that term anymore because, when I do research, I have the impression that everyone reoffends at some point. Most of my friends I made in the clinic have relapsed. And besides, according to my oncologist, I am at risk of developing another type of cancer. Because although chemotherapies certainly destroy cancer cells, they can ultimately cause other cancers. And besides, a mass has just been discovered in my brain,” Sabrina immediately announces, still as placid as ever. So I’m going to have an MRI on Friday to see if it’s a sarcoma again. We’ll see… Hence the fact that, in my opinion, the word ‘remission’ is meaningless”.
A future nurse
In the meantime, however, he had to move on with his life. Courageously, Sabrina hangs on. “I was forced to interrupt my studies for a year, while I finished the treatments,” she told us, before continuing. But three days after my chemotherapies, I began studying midwifery. At that point, I no longer thought about cancer at all. It was only in 2021 that I had the aftermath. I cried for a yes, for a no. I had become very sensitive. Even today, I am on edge”.
To keep my head above water after such a crossing, “I try to put things into perspective. I tell myself that, of course, it is a long journey but that there are more serious cases. People who have the same type of cancer as me in the knee, for example, and who had to be amputated. I tell myself that I can’t break down because there are people in much more delicate situations than mine. I draw my energy from my loved ones who are always behind me. A psychologist is also following me.”
This year, Sabrina decided to reorient herself. She is now in her second year of nursing. “My father was a nurse and I always hesitated between becoming a midwife or a nurse. My repeated hospitalizations obviously contributed to my reorientation. Besides, today, outside the hospital, I see the nurses who have become my friends,” she clearly rejoices.
Sabrina Idrisse: “I tell myself: as long as there is life, there is hope”. ©Jean Luc Flemal
Lifetime follow-up
Now, Sabrina knows that she will be monitored for life, with checks every six months. “I live day by day and I try not to really project myself. I tell myself: as long as there is life, there is hope. I am very optimistic by nature. Even too much. But those around me, including one of my sisters, tell me that I also have to be realistic. Of course, I always have apprehension when I have a new exam at the time of diagnosis. That said, my fight today is to preserve my health and to always have this thirst for life. I can say that, frankly, cancer made me appreciate life more because I realized that, overnight, everything can change. I tell myself that we only have one life. That you have to take advantage of your loved ones. I avoid toxic people, because positive vibes have always helped me. I also avoid procrastinating. When I want and when I can, I try to travel. I would like to see Indonesia and Thailand.”
But above all, it is faith that animates Sabrina and gives her all this strength. “A quote that I really like is: “As soon as you get up in the morning, thank God that you are still alive.” I am very religious and that is what helped me enormously during my fight. I tell myself that what happened to me was a test from God. There is a quote that says: “God tests those he loves.” So I believe that God sent me this trial to bring me even closer to him. And that’s the case”.
©DR
Words for ailments
Through “Words for Evil”, La Libre has chosen to give voice to people affected by various illnesses, both physical and mental, common or rare. Meetings which aim to understand their daily lives, their difficulties and hopes, to share their outlook on existence. It is also a way of reminding us that no one is safe from these accidents of life. This series can be found every other Monday on our site.
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