2023-05-19 13:01:00
Suddenly one feels an indefinable closeness to only one person, as if no matter how much we talk, there are still stories left, silence with them alone is enjoyable. Even though they are so lovely, there is an elusive feeling when they are together. Agrees and disagrees are equally beautiful. Dreams sprout that the next life should be with them. Isn’t this love?
There are few people who do not think about such thoughts and doubt what the relationship is with that person. The person feels closeness and similarities not found in previous friendships. Relationships that start from ‘small talk’ about some common interest and blossom into romance. Science has discovered that what we look for in a partner are versions of ourselves. The phenomenon of liking people with similar personalities is called the similarity-attraction effect. But does a relationship work just because of similarity in character?
The ways of love
Science has already discovered the feelings of lust, attraction, and intimacy that make people fall in love, and the hormones that cause them. The body’s sex hormones testosterone and estrogen are nature’s means of reproduction. Dopamine, norepinephrine, and serotonin are hormones that stimulate attraction. And it doesn’t stop there, the formula of love chemistry. Oxytocin and vasopressin for intimacy. Love arises in a person when so many hormones are working from the endocrine glands of the body.
All these are reasons to fall in love. But what attracts us to someone? A study conducted by Boston University on the attraction of individuals to each other in love found the tendency to choose partners with similar characteristics.
There are many reasons for attraction to a person. Moments spent with individuals beyond sight and their personalities and habits are factors that lead to romance. But not all personality traits and habits are attractive to others. Vairamuthu wrote ‘Unnode nan irunta ovvoru mani tulium, murutapadukuil kuryaat kanmaniye’ (Iruvar) not about the moments we spent with everyone. New research suggests that people fall in love when they share similar thoughts and ideas.
B.U. debunked the long held belief that opposites attract each other. Charles Choo is Assistant Professor of Management and Organizations in the Kustrom School of Business. Choo studied how one’s actions and behaviors draw others closer to him or alienate him.
Self-essentialist thinking holds that each person has specific traits that are deeply embedded within them that make them who they are. Those with such thinking would assume that the essence that is responsible for the characteristics that set individuals apart is within everyone. The self-essentialist concept states that such thoughts are important in determining one’s likes, dislikes, and interests. When such people share the same opinion on any one subject, they will consider the two to be similar in other points of view as well. Brian S. of the Stanford Graduate School of Business. Choo’s study with Lowery was published in Personality and Social Psychology of the American Psychological Association.
Could the concept be true?
Choo conducted the study using a fictional character, Jamie, who displayed neither friendly nor hostile attitudes toward individuals. Participants in the study were first asked their opinions on issues such as abortion, capital punishment, gun ownership, animal testing and euthanasia. Then asked about Jamie. But no one could measure up to Jamie, who showed no particular feelings for them. The majority of study participants believed that their views of the world stemmed from their ingrained nature. Those who held such an idea naturally began to feel close to Jamie when Jamie shared a similar idea to any idea they shared.
The study in the second phase was given a topic that was easy to interact with. The task was to count the blue dots on a page. This time, those who found more and fewer stitches than the imaginary person Jamie got were closer to him. Those who believed that they were formed by the essence within were closer in character to Jamie and further in contrast. The extent of one’s faith also defined one’s relationships with others.
Choo approached those who sought the essence of their own nature in others in two ways. One group is taught that the essence that defines them has nothing to do with the essence of another. Told others that the method they use to understand people is not correct and only serves to alienate those who actually get along with them.
Choo says that measuring how similar and different we are to others and getting close to them can help us find ourselves among like-minded people. But such thinking can also lead to borderline with those who have different opinions. Choo says it can be a leap to distance those who hold different opinions on issues and get closer to those who share the same opinion on one or two issues.
All are complex human beings but have an understanding of their own perspectives and ideas. While other people are in many ways mysterious to us. Many of us try to shape the incomprehensible nature of others with our own ideas. Avoiding such preconceived notions about individuals is not only helpful in love and friendship, but in any context of life, from hiring in corporates to politics.
1684502000
#Love #Feels #Science #Love #People #Feel #Love #studies #explain #romantic #attraction #love