2023-10-14 17:08:12
Patricia Mey unfolds the words to bear witness to the daily life endured by those who accompany a loved one because they have lost their autonomy. There are many of them, few define themselves as “helpers” and even fewer know that they…
Patricia Mey unfolds the words to bear witness to the daily life endured by those who accompany a loved one because they have lost their autonomy. There are many of them, few define themselves as “helpers” and even fewer know that they in turn can be supported in the face of this heavy responsibility. It is for all these reasons that this very young retiree agreed to tell not “the difficulties, but worse: the complexity of this situation”.
“Even more serious situations”
“It’s complex, because it’s never finished. Whereas a difficulty can be overcome and moved on,” she confides. Patricia devoted herself completely to her son Aurélien, now 29 years old. When she was born, she was 33 years old. She was then a senior executive in a large company like her husband, and had just bought a large house in the Paris region for their first son Jordan, 8 years old at the time, and to accommodate their future twins. The dream is shattered after a very complicated pregnancy and the birth of only Aurélien. It is then that this family’s journey through the hospital environment begins, with administrative battles because Aurélien suffers from multiple disabilities including autism.
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“However, over the course of my hospital stays, I realized that there were situations even more serious than mine. This is what also allowed me to move forward,” says Patricia. Very quickly, she chose to leave her job, went part-time and rarely spoke about her daily life to her colleagues. “I then begin to build another life. When you are a young parent in this situation, you really don’t know who to turn to. We even went as far as Canada to meet representatives. »
Alzheimer’s too
Over time, the couple falls apart, the siblings deteriorate. “Aurélien’s dad had the honesty to say that he didn’t feel capable of living like this. », she rewinds After a burnout, they end up separating. Patricia recharges her batteries by opening new networks, by creating an association on disability. “I invested in those who were even more deprived than me.” She takes care of her two sons. Then, later, she will also be confronted with her mother’s Alzheimer’s disease.
Today, Patricia has remarried and has chosen to settle for three years near relatives, in Bizanos. “Moving to Pau allowed us to find support for Aurélien who had suffered many after-effects of confinement.” Today, Aurélien works at Esat Colo-Coustau and thrives in various disabled sports structures or thanks to Unadev activities for the visually impaired. Aurélien’s big brother has become a co-tutor, “always very proud to succeed for his little brother” smiles Patricia.
In Pau, Patricia quickly became a reference in the world of disability. After creating the “Handi Kap ou pas Kap” salon in Bizanos, she gives her time for Ciapa as part of Carers’ Day (read opposite) and organizes the next Telethon in her town. She also expects a lot from the formidable inclusive housing project Ostalada, the first stone of which has just been laid in Lescar. “I dream of more flexible welcoming structures, less lost in administrative meanders to facilitate aid,” she confides.
Until last year, she considered herself a mother, never a caregiver. It was only during her first respite stay that she became aware of her role and agreed to take a step aside.
Since the age of 33, Patricia Mey has completely changed her life.
Alban Laffitte
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