Dilemma: Navigating Boundaries with an Overbearing Mother’s Medical Influence

2023-10-27 08:34:20

My mother belongs to that category of people who are sure that everyone always knows better than others. When I was little, I didn’t have the right to my own opinion.

– Lera, who are you to argue with me? Mom has lived her life, she knows better.

I didn’t have a sweet character, but I didn’t show it in front of my mother. I decided that since I was little and dependent on my parents, I would endure it. At school I was the head girl, the president of the circle, everyone obeyed me. And at home she turned into a silent quiet woman, because it was useless to prove anything to her mother.

There are no authorities for her at all. For example, this concerned treatment. My mother took me to the clinic just to get vaccinations. She treated all my other illnesses herself. Of course, I can’t remember exactly what medications she gave me, but the therapy was always tough.

She seemed unaware of the existence of immunity. Any sneezing or coughing on my part had to be dealt with immediately. Endless rinsing, instillation, pills, warming, rubbing began.

I don’t know if this is the case, but I suffered for a long time afterwards. Almost immediately I got the flu, after any hypothermia, herpes, cystitis and other related complications appeared.

In order to restore my immunity, I had to spend a lot of time, effort and money. I visited a bunch of doctors and took every possible test. I started taking vitamins regularly, eating well, and exercising. Only after this my health returned to normal.

After I started living separately from my parents, I tried to do everything so that my mother could no longer interfere in my life. Even though she tried to do it. But I clearly outlined the boundaries and said that I would stop communicating completely if she continued in the same spirit. At first my mother was offended and pointedly did not call me or write.

At the same time, dad talked to me normally, as usual. He is generally a quiet and calm man. Any other mother would not have been able to stand it. After a few weeks, she calmed down and started calling me herself. I stopped giving advice, and it seemed to me that the conflict was over.

Then I got married and gave birth to two children. Now son Artem is seven years old, and daughter Katya is three years old. Parents enjoy babysitting their grandchildren, and I am very happy about this.

But recently it happened that my husband and I went on a business trip for several days. The children were left with my parents. The next day my mother called me and said that Temka and Katya had a fever, a cough and a runny nose. On the same day I called a paid pediatrician to my home.

The children were examined, diagnosed with ARVI and prescribed treatment. Rinse your nose, gargle, drink plenty of fluids and lower your temperature as necessary.

I talked to my parents, they said that they could cope without us for two days on their own. I sent money for medicine, said that they could call me in any case, dictated in what cases to call an ambulance, and so on. Mom told me not to worry, they would sort it out.

When my husband and I returned, I went to pick up the children. And I saw a whole mountain of medicines on the nightstand in their room! There were antibiotic tablets, badger fat, vasoconstrictor drops for adults and many other interesting things.

“Mom,” I asked, “what is this?!”

– Treatment.

– Mom, the doctor didn’t prescribe this! – I started to boil.

– What does she understand! Very young, just out of college. “And I raised you and treated you many times,” my mother answered calmly.

– Mom, are you normal?! – I was already screaming.

Word for word, and we had a big fight. I haven’t been this angry with my mom for a long time. It seemed to me that we had already resolved this situation. But she did not admit her guilt and continued to stand her ground. We haven’t spoken for two weeks now.

My husband is trying to calm me down, trying to persuade me to make peace with my mother, but I can’t. How to convey to her that my children are my responsibility, and I decide how to raise and treat them. Has she really not understood this after so many years?

I can’t trust her anymore. What if she pretends that she understands everything, but she continues to do what she considers necessary? She first ruined my health, now she has taken on her grandchildren, and without understanding it at all.

Of course, I don’t want to prohibit children from communicating with their grandparents. Katya and Tema love them very much. But I don’t know how to control the situation.

The section “Readers’ Opinions” publishes materials from readers.

1698425498
#Mom #treats #sneeze #antibiotics #dont #convince

Leave a Comment

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.