Macron in the PIF, the CGT makes its revolution, April Fools … Denis Carreaux’s Wandering Week


Mission impossible. “You didn’t want Catherine Vautrin. You sold me Elisabeth Borne as the rare pearl, and here we are! “. The little sentence launched by Emmanuel Macron to his close guard leaked opportunely in Point at the very moment when the Head of State is setting his new roadmap for his Prime Minister. Three short weeks is the deadline set by the Head of State, still master of the clocks, for Elisabeth Borne to appease the country, widen its majority and renew dialogue with the unions. The mission is impossible, but the Matignon tenant still intends to drive it. Without qualms, the finger on the seam of the trouser suit.
“He’s a real soldier,” said Aurore Bergé, president of the Renaissance group in the Assembly. A loyal soldier, courageous in the ordeal, but perhaps a little too straight in his boots who sees his horizon in Matignon shrinking day after day.


From time to time. Seized on March 20 by the Prime Minister and several parliamentarians to validate (or not) the pension reform, the members of the Constitutional Council are careful not to confuse speed with haste. We imagine them around their president Laurent Fabius, 77, so young Prime Minister in … 1984, observing with a small smile the race against the clock of the 577 deputies and 348 senators busy crushing and amending the text at the step charge, subject to the dictatorship of the chronometer. Rue de Montpensier, we do not commit speeding. We give time to time. In their great wisdom, the members of the venerable institution have decided to agree until April 14 to deliver their opinion. Totaling 646 years between them, the Sages have passed the age to act under pressure. One could almost suspect them of prolonging the pleasure.


Macron in the Pif. Change of tone compared to the very serious television interview with the Head of State a week earlier. After its passage on the PAF, it is to Pif that Emmanuel Macron addresses in a rather cute eight-page interview, but which leaves a little unsatisfied. That’s why…
– The President of the Republic did not wear the Pif the dog cap offered by the children. He would have
yet made a splash on social networks with it.
– He no longer has his cuddly toy, a little rabbit he has “gradually destroyed”.
– Emmanuel Macron does not answer Louise’s question, who wanted to know why he gave his labrador a fish name. We just learn that he chose Nemo because it was the year of the letter N. A bit short.
– He explains that his mission with François Hollande was to clarify his decision. He does not say if it was this light that decided the latter to give up presenting himself.
– As a child, he wanted to be a footballer, an archaeologist or a theater actor. He does not specify whether he intends to realize his dreams by leaving the Élysée.


The appalling delay. ” How did we get here ? The question is on everyone’s lips, for all subjects. The state of France, the rise in violence, our delay in nuclear power… The drought too, which sets in inexorably, reminding us of what we had too quickly forgotten: water is a precious good. By raising this issue to the rank of a national cause, Emmanuel Macron is of course right. The measures announced are a step in the right direction, but they also cruelly highlight the appalling delay accumulated in recent years. In terms of wastewater reuse, France is one of the worst students. In seven years, the Head of State wants to raise the proportion of recycled water from 1% to 10%. Either. But most other European countries are doing better and Israel already reuses 80% of its gray water. However, for years, elected officials have come up against the implacable refusal of the administration, which systematically attacks their waste water recycling files. With the same zeal, these same state services will soon force them to implement them.


The CGT is making its revolution. She does not have the mustaches of Philippe Martinez, the bowl cut of Bernard Thibault, the pronounced taste for interior decoration of Thierry Lepaon or the banter of Henri Krasucki. At 41, Sophie Binet becomes, to everyone’s surprise, the new boss of the CGT. A revolution for the union, led by males since its creation in 1895. A committed woman, very advanced in questions of diversity, Sophie Binet is in no way a beginner. Former militant of the Christian Workers’ Youth (JOC) and the Unef, hardworking and experienced in the exercise of negotiations, the general secretary of the Union of engineers and managers CGT (Ugict) has the ideal profile to dust off the central union. And attack the leadership of the CFDT.


April Fool. No need to tire yourself out chasing down April Fool’s Day pranks. The news of the week was sufficiently rich in (real) information that could have made excellent April fools. Anthology.
– Secretary of State Marlène Schiappa will be on the front page of Playboy next week.
– Elisabeth Borne undertakes to limit the use of 49.3.
– A former president of the United States is indicted for buying the silence of a porn actress.
– The day after his interview in Pif, Emmanuel Macron presents an ecological sobriety plan and leaves by helicopter.
– A Chinese billionaire will organize an online auction of “unvaccinated” sperm.
– An American school principal resigns for having shown her students the David by Michelangelo. The masterpiece was considered pornographic by the parents.
– The former Secretary of State Thomas Thévenoud, suffering from “administrative phobia” embodies a Minister of Labor in a film currently showing.

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