Since childhood, most people live conditioned by what others decide for them. Also for material aspirations, many of them unnecessary. This vital cocktail is seasoned with a pinch of excess urgency and responsibility, often without sense, and around an artificial world that, far from leading us towards our well-being, guides us down paths of dissatisfaction.
In ‘Jump with you’, Fernando Bottle , an expert in executive training and development and speaker, explains the four consciousnesses and is committed to focusing on the present and not fearing uncertainty, with perseverance, resilience, ambition, commitment and joy. Likewise, he dedicates a chapter to the assertiveness, to the PRP keys (Permission, Reconstruction and Proposal) to get up in each fall and continue forward, to the power of laughter and to demystify and empty of content some phrases such as “If you want, you can”. In his opinion, that phrase is a big lie that has done a lot of damage to those who have believed it.
What has inspired you to write this book? Do you think there is too much positive thinking that does us a disservice?
Positive thinking is a current in the world of psychology and a new way of understanding cognitive psychology, in which many phrases are used to sell sweetened happiness, which hurts when making decisions, being brave… Positive thinking does not intelligent is a thought that leads us to feel more frustrated and is the one that I do not recommend. What I connect with is ‘optimalism’: what to do with what we have, that is, we cannot change what happens to us but we can know what we can do with it. When we understand our reality is when we can build.
What do you intend with the publication of ‘Salta contigo’?
Fundamentally what the subtitle itself has collected: choose to be brave. The book is a ‘little thesis’ to understand that the happiness of our life has to do with the ability to decide and be brave to try and jump with yourself, not with saviors. The Stoics, in their discourse on achieving freedom and tranquility, did not speak of courage, which is making decisions and doing what one considers one has to do. It is the ability to form yourself and form a path, the ability to live with the mind of an apprentice and curious…
The opposite of bravery is not cowardice but non-movement. What does not move dies, so those who are not brave are dead in life. People who are not brave have little fun, suffer from anxiety and even live in bitterness.
Are we usually not daring?
I dare not put quantity. My intention with this book has been to give a message that in life, when you need it, be brave. You don’t have to be a standard bearer of courage or jump without a net, but make decisions for yourself and make your own way looking for what you want to happen with you. I have made many decisions with great courage and today my own experience leads me to say that you can change the direction you had. And this is not a message to philosophize or open discussions; It has an inspiration and aspiration component to take action, which is possible with mechanisms and tools.
How can we enhance courage?
You have to make individual decisions. First of all, focus on what you like and what matters and decide to jump in the direction where you have the focus.
Then there is a component related to one’s own personal growth and aspiration. In my case, I wrote my first book and interacted with people I didn’t know. I searched for and understood life as an open adventure in which everything can be changed.
Finally, connect with what amuses one and put all the energy and motivation.
The message “you can” seems to have gaps, right? What lies do you find in it and mention in your book?
There is a lie that is fundamental and others that are born through the big lie. It is not true that I want something and I can. For example, as much as I want to, I can’t sing in the opera. I can do a lot of myself to get it by signing up for classes etc., but it’s not true that I’m going to become an opera singer. Of course, what is certain is that if you do not want to, you will not put. Around this there are many sales skirts of everything, ways of behaving, ways of fooling ourselves.
I try to take force away from that message. We have to work and create the talent we need. Invest… and perhaps you will reach a certain level, but it is essential to manage your expectations well.
Is dependency the Achilles heel of today’s society?
In ‘Salta contigo’ I’m not saying that you do everything by yourself, but that you do it with people, but you have to understand the nuance: they can help you a lot to make the leap, but you’re the one who has to do it alone. If I were your coach, the responsibility is yours to achieve the objectives, but mine, my responsibility, is to accompany you. Therefore, there may be many people around you encouraging and supporting you in your decisions, but the final decision is yours.
About the Author
Fernando Botella is an expert in training and development of executives and managers, a lecturer and associate professor at prestigious universities and business schools such as the University of Central Florida, Harvard University, ESADE, ICADE… He is CEO of Think & Action, a company which he founded in 2007 and which, with its own method, is dedicated to the transformation of people.