Many people believe that they will finally be happy when they have a bigger house, when they earn more money, when they find their soul mate, when they change jobs… However, as the psychologist explains
Maribel Jimenez, happiness is not in obtaining a desire, nor is it in things, nor in something external, nor does it depend on the achievements made or on something projected into the future. Thus, what the expert proposes is that it is a natural state of being: “Happiness is in the Peace of mindin it detachmenton the natural joy without a particular reason, in the satisfaction of doing what we have come to do, putting our gifts and talents at the service of others”, he explains.
To clarify the dimension of this concept, the psychologist refers to the example of the baby: «He does not have an elaborate or conditioned mind, he is cheerful and happy naturally, it is something spontaneous that arises from his way of being in the world. Unless she has a physiological need to cover, such as hunger or sleep, most of the time she will be happy because that happiness and joy is within one, it is always available, “argues the psychologist, who is also the author of the book ‘
The secret chamber of the heart: a game of internal exploration towards self-mastery‘.
Differences between happy and unhappy
In a way, most people tend towards the constant search for happiness to search for lost well-being. As Jiménez explains, it is an automatic mechanism that is activated to readjust the inner balance. However, the expert assures that we are looking in the wrong direction. «Since we were little we have been programmed and conditioned to live believing that the source of happiness is abroad and that we have to achieve certain things to be happy. But happiness and joy are always present in our life regardless of the circumstances. Discovering it is in each one », she raises.
That is why, for the psychologist, the difference between happy or unhappy people lies in the focus in which they put their attention. «An unhappy person is focusing on what he lacks, on what he does not have and on the complaint. And besides, he spends most of his time reminiscing about the past or projecting on the future», he specifies. And on the other side of the scale would be the happy person who, according to Jiménez clarifies, would be the one who focuses on the here and now: «Look at a landscape, enjoy a cup of tea, listen to a song, take a deep breath and feel a enormous satisfaction. He feels at peace. And when we are at peace the natural joy can come out », she assures.
But to find that peace of mind it is important to detachmentnot cling to things or people because happiness does not depend on them.
Another key, as he adds, is to feel that the right thing is being done and that we are acting with coherence between what we feel, what we think and what we do. “It’s something that brings a lot of satisfaction and makes living life easier.”
Happy people, therefore, live flowing in the present moment, as if they were going with the river instead of going against the current or avoiding obstacles with effort and sacrifice and hoping to obtain certain results or achievements in the future.
Rituals as allies
One of the resources that helps connect with the present it is the practice of rituals. «Focusing on what you like, on what is good for you, on what nourishes you, on those simple things or on those small pleasures (sometimes unexpected, sometimes prepared) that fill you with satisfaction allow you to be present, in the here and now,” he says.
So what is the best ritual? Whichever is best for you. Some people light a candle and contemplate it in silence while taking deep breaths, other people look for pleasant aromas, others take a walk through nature, others take a relaxing bath or have a tea or an infusion while looking out the window. What all these moments or activities have in common is what really defines a ritual that, as Jiménez recalls, is the creation of a space and moment dedicated to achieving a desired end, which is worked through the full attention set in the intention to achieve it and a series of actions aimed at reinforcing that intention.
When we convert an activity that is pleasant to us into a ritual, doing it from the consciousness in the present moment and entering into a relationship with a natural element (air, fire, water or earth) as it has been done since prehistory, our mind understands that this act is important and special. In addition, according to the expert, both cerebral hemispheres (right and left) are synchronized and the limbic system, which manages emotions, memories and awareness. Thus, if we carry out a ritual that connects us with positive emotions, that information will be what, little by little, we reprogramming in our subconscious mind until it becomes automated as a useful mental pattern that benefits us.
Benefits of rituals
- Connect with the present moment
- They bring order, harmony and beauty to everyday life.
- Provides appreciation for life by giving meaning and value to what is done
- Helps develop healthy mental habits
- Self-care, internal listening and connection with our center
- Increases the feeling of pleasure and enjoyment of everyday moments
In addition, the psychologist assures that the rituals increase their effectiveness If they are repeated periodically, the mind, by recognizing the ritual, trains itself to know what to do and all focus actions end up occurring more fluently and quickly.