2023-08-28 15:27:33
In our current society, punctuated by social networks, the injunction of “good vibes only” can sometimes be overwhelming, especially when morale is low. Whether you’re victim of toxic positivity or that one is, inadvertently, oneself the author of sentences intended to be comforting and positive but sometimes inappropriate, one simply has to be aware of the impact words can have. Zoom on toxic positivity.
What is toxic positivity?
“Be happy”, “it will pass”, “there is worse in life”, “relativize”, “you will recover”, “be positive it will be better tomorrow”, “you know, everything happens for a reason”, “there are more serious problems than that”, “move on”, “you are not the person most to be pitied”, etc… toxic positivity! The fault of these sentences, a priori innocuous? They will contribute to invalidate the emotions of the person in front of us and give back his feelings illegitimate. Indeed, depending on the state of mind or the psychological illness in which the person to whom we are speaking is located, these ready-made formulas are transformed into fierce positivity far from trivial…
Why do we show toxic positivity?
He is natural to want to reassure a loved one who would come and confide in us by sending him comforting phrases. But without being aware of it, the opposite effect can then occur in someone in a state of psychological suffering. These formulas aiming to show the positive side of the thing do not always raise the morale of the unhappy person and will, on the contrary, minimize the traumas and pains she feels pushing her to turn the page without her having taken enough time to analyze and overcome this disappointment. A discomfort all the more reinforced when such phrases and mantras are ubiquitous on social networks, Instagram accounts and other personal development podcasts.
Good news, you can escape toxic positivity quite easily by bypassing it. For Whitney Goodman an American psychotherapist and content creator on Instagram, toxic positivity is a harmful attitude without any real progress possible for the person in distress, who may feel more aggrieved. Indeed, it is essential not to dismiss all negativity and all negative feeling of his life. Encountering difficulties and low morale or even depressive episodes is totally normal in a woman’s life. And wanting to hide any negativity from your environment is counterproductive.
For truly to help someone By addressing him in a positive way, the psychotherapist identified the main expressions relating to toxic positivity and, for each, proposed a reformulation in a healthier register of communication:
In short, in order not to fall into toxic positivity, it would be enough simply to listen to your loved one in distress and give him his support and understanding without wanting to provide a positive solution. Trying to make a situation positive sometimes does more harm than good. !
The reading advice
To know more about toxic positivity and learn to tame it, the book by psychotherapist Whitney Goodman “Toxic positivity break free from the dictatorship of happiness to really get better” explains thatto be negative is above all to be human and it’s good to remember it!
Read also:
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Toxic colleague, how to recognize it and how to protect yourself from it?
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Good humor, letting go, confidence… it can be learned!
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#Toxic #Positivity #Dangerous