The family is gathered to celebrate, but your teenager does not take off from his computer? Dialogue and a few small strategies can resolve many situations.
According to the Digital Transformation Academy, almost all teens use at least one smart device and spend nearly 20 hours a week engaging in online activities. Making them let go of the screens to go play in the snow or play a game of cards can seem like an impossible mission.
And how to react when, during a visit to the grandparents, for example, your youngest is absorbed by his tablet, your daughter is talking on her cell phone and the eldest refuses to interrupt his online game? The silence around the beautifully decorated table can bother many families…
“For many parents of teenagers, screens cause a lot of frustration during the holiday season, recognizes Magali Dufour, associate professor in the psychology department at UQAM and specialist in cyberaddiction. This time of year is an opportunity to develop tools to promote dialogue with young people on this subject. »
Warning signs
Currently, nearly 18% of young people are at risk of having a problem using the Internet, according to Magali Dufour, who published an article on the subject last year in the Journal of Psychoeducators. Its CyberJeunes study, conducted in 2016, reveals that one out of five Quebec teenagers admits to regularly losing control of their Internet consumption, and that approximately 7% are at risk of cyberaddiction.
How much screen time should you not exceed? For many parents, this is the big question! According to the researcher, problems appear from more than 4 hours of screen time per day, or 30 hours per week. Young people treated for cyberaddiction can play up to 55 hours a week. The tolerated norm is rather a maximum of 2 hours of screen per day, and never more than an hour before bedtime.
When should we start worrying? Loss of control is the main warning signal. When the teenager has difficulty stopping, when it interferes with his sleep, on school, on his relations with his friends, we can consider that we are no longer in front of a passion, but that we rather deals with an addiction.
Attitude positive
Before getting there, there is a way to put rules in place. To prevent holidays from turning into a tussle, the subject of screen time can be addressed when planning leisure activities, so as not to take the young person by surprise. If you need help setting up a schedule, several tools are available on the pausetonscreen.com website or from the Cyber-Help Center.
“You have to remember that you should not expect an instant response from the teenager, recalls Magali Dufour. Instead, the parent should help him manage his playing time and open a discussion that does not demonize his activity. »
She gives another important piece of advice before inviting children to family feasts: to avoid grumbling, give young players at least ten minutes’ notice.
Maude Bonenfant, doctor in semiology and holder of the Canada Research Chair in Big Data and Gamer Communities, found that parents’ positive attitude towards children’s online activities had the effect of reducing the time spent on the screens.
“As soon as parents take an interest in the sport of their teenagers and recognize their passion, they notice a change in their attitude: many start talking more, eating with others at dinner, and so on. “, supports the Dre Goodchild.
And, according to her, we must not forget that the video game does not only have negative effects. It allows young people to develop skills, build friendships and socialize with other players, to be recognized and valued at an age when they often find it difficult to come out of their shell.
If he feels recognized or his online passion interests his loved ones, there’s a good chance he’ll be around the table before the turkey gets too cold!
>> To read also: Video games: play them with your children, 20 free board games in digital version and The best Quebec board games