2023-07-06 08:29:28
– “Risk-taking is a necessary evil for the smooth running of childhood”
The recent avalanche of miscellaneous facts involving children terrifies parents: what if it happened to my child? Psychologist Jon Schmidt highlights the virtues of exploration.
Jon Schmidt
Posted today at 10:29
Psychotherapist Jon Schmidt in his office in Lausanne.
Marie-Lou Dumauthioz
“Recent news, with all these various facts involving children, worries me. How do I let my child play outside alone or go to town with friends?”
Parents sometimes tell me about their worries when they read news items in the press. A mass killing in a school in the United States, the stabbing of young children in Annecy or the recent events with the death of young Nahel in Nanterre. This dramatic news is not trivial and the violence that accompanies it causes such amazement and such a feeling of unease that words fail to describe these acts.
The question of how to bring up these subjects in our families is important. Some prefer to avoid these subjects to focus on the good news and the positive aspects of life. Others, with children who are old enough, willingly dialogue and discuss the harsh reality that surrounds us.
These discussions are sometimes a way for parents to see the world through the eyes of their children. A 13-year-old patient told me that in his family, they do not eat at the table in the evening but in the living room, in front of the television news. He likes these evenings which generally give rise to lively debates. For the parents of this young boy, exposing him to information and images “that may shock certain sensitivities” is an educational means of preparing him for adult life and the problems of our society.
“Faced with the headlines and the feeling of insecurity, some parents reassure themselves by overprotecting their child. We talk about “helicopter parents”, who control any risk taking and any attempt at exploration.
In addition, the demarcation between external threats and internal security at home has become more diffuse, leading to a feeling of permeability of ties, coupled with a feeling of disconnection between the different members of a family. “Under the roof of our house, our daughter is not safe from danger,” confided to me the father of a daughter who was the victim of online harassment.
In such a context, presence, listening and dialogue remain the necessary tools for the proper support of young people immersed in a world known as information, but also misinformation. Faced with headlines and feelings of insecurity, some parents reassure themselves by overprotecting their child. We speak of “helicopter parents”, who control all risk-taking and all attempts at exploration.
Risk is defined as: “Being faced with a more or less foreseeable disadvantage.” It is distinguished from danger, which consists in undergoing an unpredictable situation. Risk-taking is a necessary evil for the good development of childhood. Seeing your baby fall when he takes his first steps, let go of the saddle when he learns to ride a bike without the little wheels, scream with joy when his daughter jumps off the diving board for the first time. So many images which symbolize the beauty of life and which contrast with those so dark evoked in the introduction.
In therapy, the balance between taking risks and protecting children is a recurring theme. It is a question of finding the one that suits each of its members according to their history, their background and their personal traumas.
Jon Schmidt is a psychologist and family therapist in Lausanne.
He wrote “Adolescence in search of meaning, 12 stories of therapy” (Éd. Loisirs et Pédagogie, 134 p.)
Found an error? Please let us know.
0 comments
1688633042
#question #expert #Risktaking #evil #good #development #childhood